Tactless Tactics
by SorceryGeniusLina
Summary: A modern-day yaoi couple: Yuki - a cute, shy, clumsy uke and Ren - a masculine, badass, video-gamer seme, fall into the One Piece World and help Zoro and Sanji to get a clue and man up to the romantic feelings they have for each other. Collab with Henka-chan. ZoSan and OCs Ren/Yuki and Akira/Sophia
1. Chapter 1

Tactless Tactics

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

Chapter 1:

Yuki was feeling anxious since his partner Ren was taking him camping in the Cascade Mountains. The campsite was right next to a lake so that they could fish. Ren loved fishing. They'd have the entire weekend to themselves and lots of privacy to express their love. Ren's birthday and their anniversary were coming up and Yuki wanted to do something 'special' for him but he couldn't think of anything. It was driving him nuts.

Yuki looked at Ren out of the corner of his eye and wondered for the millionth time why a guy as cool as Ren had taken an interested in _him_? Ren was a masculine guy but with feminine facial features. He was 6' 2" and weighed 220 pounds, but was pure muscle. Ren had sun-kissed skin, and long black hair with red streaks. Currently, Ren had his hair tied back into a ponytail to keep it out of his way while they fished. He was wearing a blood-red, 'wife beater' that clung nicely to his muscular torso and showed off hi bulging biceps, pair of black board shorts and a pair of combat boots.

Yuki put a hand over his mouth as he muffled a laugh. His boyfriend was looking a little like Ace from One Piece in that getup. Yuki considered himself to be the polar opposite of Ren. He was very effeminate; he thought that he looked almost like a girl with his lithe, petite figure, wide green eyes with long dark lashes and shoulder-length, copper-colored hair. He grit his teeth when he thought about how people usually confused him for a girl when they first met him. It would be better if they thought of him as a typical _uke_ but the people in his town were a little clueless when it came to things like that.

Currently, Ren was rowing the two of them across the lake so that they could find a good spot to start fishing. It was a miracle that Ren had even managed to convince him to get into that boat. He was terrified of the water and couldn't swim. Ren promised him that if he fell in he'd save Yuki and would be more than happy to perform CPR on him if it was needed. Yuki sighed.

He glared up at the sun that was shining in the clear blue sky overhead. He was going to get badly sun burn. He just knew it. The light caused the piercings that Ren had on to glimmer. Ren had four stud earrings in his left ear and there was a piercing in his right eyebrow. The campsite Ren had chosen was gorgeous. The lake was surrounded by forest on all sides and a mountain could be seen in the distance. The waters of the lake were smooth and a gray-blue. Most people would probably have been enjoying themselves but Yuki was ready to just go home already.

As Ren caught Yuki staring he smiled smugly. He knew the effect he had on Yuki but what Yuki didn't realize was that it really went both ways. Yuki drove him crazy too – those slim hips, those wide green eyes, that soft copper hair, his milky-white skin that was so soft to the touch and his pink nipples drove him mad with desire and filled him with an unquenchable hunger.

Ren shook his head – now was not the time for such lewd thoughts. If he wasn't careful he'd get even more aroused than he already was and he'd have to take his _uke_ and remind him just who his _seme_ was.

But there was plenty of time for that later. Ren glanced at the backpack he'd prepared especially for their trip. It contained various kinds of lotions, lube, condoms, rope, and even some sex toys. Yep, he liked to tie his _uke_ up and his _uke_ didn't seem to mind too much. But even if he did Ren was pretty sure he'd still tie Yuki up…he looked too hot with bondage style ropes on his naked body after all. Ren chuckled darkly to himself.

Yuki raised an eyebrow when he lover started to chuckle to himself. Ren had this shit-eating grin on his handsome face, which was never a good sign for Yuki. He shuddered. Well, it was a good thing but also a bad thing. When Ren had _that look_ on his face it meant he was plotting _something_ – usually something sexual and Yuki was definitely involved. When Ren got that look in his eyes Yuki would end up being sore for _days_ afterwards. He sighed.

His lover was quite the handful but…he loved him.

Yuki didn't like fishing. The worms you had to stick on the hooks were pretty gross and the fish were hard to pull up once you caught them. The scales would cut his delicate hands. His lover Ren though was an expert at fishing. He wouldn't even flinch as he jammed a worm down onto the hook, cast his line and waited. Once he caught a fish he'd effortlessly bring it in and take it off the hook barehanded. Ren would waste not time whipping out his pocket knife and setting to work cleaning and gutting the fish with ease.

Yuki flinched as he watched Ren chopping the head off of a fish he'd just caught. He seemed so at ease with his actions – people watching would probably think Ren was some kind of delinquent because of his appearance but…Ren had a soft side that only Yuki knew about. To most people Ren came across as cold, rude, and people oftentimes found him scary. Well, Ren was nice to him and children, and that was about it.

Yuki and Ren had a very interesting thing in common though – their love of _anime_, _yaoi_, _ukes_, _semes_ and most of all the World of One Piece. They were especially into the whole Zoro and Sanji pairing, and would discuss all the reasons why the cook and swordsman belonged together. Ren and Yuki would discuss how they wished they could just jump into the One Piece World so that they could help Zoro and Sanji just get a clue already!

"T-That would be so awesome…" Yuki muttered to himself.

"What?" Ren asked.

"A-Ah, no, I-I was just thinking how awesome it would be if we somehow ended up in the O-One Piece world. Y-You know so we could help Zoro and Sanji, remember?" Yuki had a stutter, it was pretty bad but Ren didn't seem to mind putting up with it.

Ren threw his head back and laughed. "Yea, that would be pretty sweet. I'd love to meet Zoro." Ren cracked his knuckles. "We could spar. I could kick his ass. Maybe I'd finally meet someone who was an actual challenge. The people I usually practice my sword fighting against are a bunch of pansy-asses. If you didn't get yourself in trouble all the time I'd probably go as soft as them…"

Yuki and Ren actually had a lot of similarities to Zoro and Sanji, and were teased by their friends for it. Ren practiced swordsmanship and even practiced with two swords. One of his katana had a black and red sheath and had been in his family for 6 generations. It was ancient and called KetsuekiBara which meant 'Blood Rose'. The second katana was a long curved katana that belong to his great grandfather and it was called Sakura no hana which meant 'Cherry Blossom'. Ren was half Japanese though he didn't really look it. He'd practice with three like Zoro but in the Real World it was simply impossible to grip a sword between your teeth.

Yuki looked down at the sword case his boyfriend Ren had brought with them. "I-Is that w-why you brought your swords?" Yuki teased.

Ren smiled. "Naw, but it'd still be sweet. I'm just going to practice with them later on the shore. Maybe cut some trees in half."

Yuki nodded. _Ah, I see._ Yuki was into cooking – he daydreamed about what it would be like to meet Sanji in person and exchange cooking tips. He used to even be into decorating cakes, but that was before he hurt his hand, which made it a little harder now. "Y-Y-Yea, like that could ever happen…there's no way we'll get to go to One Piece…" Yuki was saying disappointedly as their rowboat glided across the calm lake water. _I'd like to go there and never come back._

A frown came to Yuki's face, however, as he was reminded of an incident that occurred two years ago. Ren's twin brother Akira and an eccentric, writer friend of theirs named, Sophia, had disappeared while on an outing they had decided to take together on a motorboat on this very same lake. The motorboat had mysteriously disappeared and was never found. This was another reason why Yuki was so terrified to be out here but Ren had insisted that he wanted to check out the area his twin brother had mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps, they'd find some kind of clue that would tell them what had happened.

That's when the strangest thing happened. A fierce wind began to blow.

"Ah!" Yuki had to shield his eyes. "W-W-What?"

"Yuki!" Ren dropped his fishing pole and went over to wrap his arms protectively around Yuki as the boat began to rock. He glared at the surroundings angrily. Yuki was terrified enough to the water and now this!

"What's going on?" Yuki squeaked, he was already beginning to feel faint.

Ren frowned as he squinted through the sudden wind. "I have no idea…" He could see a strange distortion in the air in front of them. "What the-?"

Their rowboat was floating in the direction of the distortion. Ren thought about letting Yuki go and turning them away, but Yuki didn't know how to swim. Yuki didn't even like fishing or camping, but he had still come along to please _him_. He had to protect Yuki.

The rowboat passed through the distortion and slipped through the dimensional gateway. A strange tingling feeling washed over the couple as they passed through the portal – like static electricity or goosebumps.

And then it was over.

Yuki opened his eyes and looked around. His eyes widened dramatically as he took in the scenery change. "Ehhh?!" The lake and surrounding forest and mountain had disappeared! They were still on water but the water was choppy and their rowboat was rocking violently from side to side. There was this salty smell in the air. Yuki was already feeling nauseous and had to put a hand over his mouth.

"Caw! Caw!" The cry of a seagull came from overhead.

"A-A seagull?" Yuki murmured beginning to panic. "I-Is this the ocean?"

Ren looked around their surroundings too with a calm look on his face. He took a deep breath. "Yep, that's sea water. This is the ocean. Sweet." He looked excited all of a sudden.

Yuki gave his boyfriend a look of disbelief. "S-Sweet? H-H-How can you be so calm?!"

Ren smirked, "I like adventure."

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Yuki put a hand over his mouth again. His face was turning green.

Ren's excited expression shifted to concern. "Hey, it's going to be okay, Yuki-" Ren was saying when-!

"RAWR!"

There was a tremendous splash behind them and a roar. The two young men turned and their eyes bugged at the sight before them. The strangest looking creature they had never seen had risen out of the ocean before them. It had the head of a cow, the body of a fish, and was easily the size of a whale. It also looked oddly familiar.

Yuki blinked. "I-Is that…?" He was terrified.

"Yea, it looks just like a Sea King from One Piece, doesn't it? Neat." Ren breathed.

The Sea King's eyes focused on the rowboat and its passengers. The sea monster narrowed its glowing red eyes – the hair on the back of Ren's neck stood up in warning. "Oh shit…it's going to attack us!" Ren exclaimed as he made a move to grab his swords.

"So _not_ awesome…" Yuki murmured as he began to tremble in fear. "Th-Th-This has to be a dream…come on Yuki…wake up…wake up…!"

Ren fumbled with the lock on his sword case but his hands were all slippery from the bait. "Fuck!"

"RAWR! MOO!" The Sea King cried as it attacked.

"We're so fucked…dammit!" Ren swore, bringing his fist down on top of his sword case out of frustration.

And then-

"Diable Jambe!" Came an oddly familiar sounding voice.

The two young men turned to see Blackleg Sanji falling down through the air and slamming the heel of his shoe into the top of the Sea King's head.

BAM!

Sanji flipped elegantly through the air and landed on the railing of their rowboat. Sanji took out a cigarette, lit it up and took a long drag as he watched the Sea King fall back into the water with another splash.

He turned to look at the two young men curiously. "Hey, are you shitty kids okay?"

"B-B-Blackleg Sanji…" Yuki breathed in a mixture of shock, wonder and awe. "N-No way…" _I think I'm going to faint. _

Ren narrowed his eyes at Sanji and stood up in front of Yuki protectively. "We're _not_ kids."

"Hmm," Sanji let out a thoughtful stream of smoke. He didn't sound too convinced.

However, the Sea King took that moment to rise up out of the sea again and it set its sights on Sanji. "Tch…shitty Sea King." Sanji complained dropping his cigarette and crushing it with his shoe before preparing to attack the Sea King again. However-

"108 Pound Pheonix!" Came another familiar deep sounding voice. Suddenly Roronoa Zoro was flying through the air at the Sea King and his swords flashed through the air as it cut the Sea King's head right off its body.

Yuki covered his mouth at the gruesome sight and had to turn his face away.

Roronoa Zoro wasn't through with the Sea King just yet – and continued to chop it into cubes. Zoro landed on one of the floating pieces of Sea King meat. "Oi LUFFY DINNER!" Zoro called out with a triumphant smirk on his face.

"Roronoa Zoro…" Ren's eyes lit up upon seeing his hero in the flesh. "That was his three-sword style. Impressive."

Sanji leapt over to Zoro and landed on a piece of floating meat right next to the swordsman. "Shitty swordsman! Who told you to interfere?" Sanji sent his foot flying towards Zoro's head.

Zoro didn't even turn around as he raised his sword to instinctively block the attack.

CLASH

"Hah?" Zoro turned to glare at the cook and gave him an exasperated look, "What's your problem, shit-cook?"

Sanji attacked Zoro with his feet again. "I had things under control Marimo!"

Zoro blocked Sanji's fierce kicks with his swords. "Ungrateful bastard! This is the thanks I get for helping you!"

"I didn't _need_ your help!" Sanji shot back angrily as his kicks became even faster. His face was slightly flushed.

Zoro remained silent. He knew that this was probably true but – when he saw Sanji's back to the Sea King and that it had been about to attack Sanji from behind his stupid body had acted on its own. "Huh, could have fooled me, shit-cook," Zoro snarled back instead.

"Wow…they're fighting…" Yuki noted, eyes wide.

Ren chuckled and ran a hand back through his long, silky hair in a sexy manner. "Yea, they really are. They're _so_ in denial…" Ren's eyes widened when he came to a sudden realization. "That's it!" Ren knelt down in front of Yuki. "Don't you get it? Why we're here? We were sent here to get Zoro and Sanji to realize how perfect they are for each other!"

Yuki gave his lover a skeptical look. He looked back over to where Zoro and Sanji were still trying to kick each other's asses, and shook his head. "I-I-I dunno Ren…I mean this is 'reality' even if this is probably just a dream…we shouldn't get involved in their relationship. What if instead of helping them we screw everything up?" Yuki bit his lower lip nervously. _But staying here in this world might not be so bad. _

Ren gave his over-cautious lover an exasperated look. "You worry too much. I _know_ that that's why we're here…and once Zoro and Sanji get together we'll probably be sent back to our world. Don't worry, Yuki. Just leave everything to me. I know what I'm doing." A sly smile curled Ren's lips.

Yuki shuddered. _That's what I was afraid of. _He gave Zoro and Sanji a worried look. "But Ren-" Yuki started to say but didn't get to finish his 'what if I don't want to go back'.

"Ahoy there!" Came another familiar voice. Yuki looked up to see that the Thousand Sunny had pulled up right alongside their rowboat and that Luffy was leaning over the starboard railing and looking down at Ren and Yuki curiously. "Are you guys alright?"

"Y-Y-Yes," Yuki began to say before Ren slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Ahoy!" Ren called up to Luffy. "Actually, no, we're not okay. Our ship was attacked by marines! I'm a pirate and this is my wench! Can you guys give us a lift to the next island?!"

Yuki gave Ren an incredulous look – there was no way anyone was going to believe that. He could understand people thinking that his lover Ren was a pirate but…whoa, wait a minute. Did Ren just call him his wench?!Yuki pouted at the thought.

"You're a pirate! Cool! Of course we can give you guys a lift! FRANKY! Pull their boat up! We're taking them aboard!" Luffy ordered.

Yuki felt a trickle of sweat slide down the side of his head. "Th-That was easy…"

Ren clapped Yuki on the shoulder. "Like I said, love, you just leave everything to me."

In no time at all Franky had attached lines to their rowboat and had pulled it up onto the deck of the Sunny. Ren stepped out of the rowboat and offered his hand to Yuki to help him out of the boat. Yuki looked down at Ren's hand and flushed. This was _so_ embarrassing.

He put his hand in Ren's and was helped out of the rowboat and onto the deck of the Thousand Sunny. The entire crew had assembled up on deck and was looking at Yuki and Ren curiously. Ren was equally curious about the Strawhats. They had several very attractive crewmembers. Sure, he was in love with Yuki but…he liked to look around. Robin was especially attractive. Ren allowed himself to run his eyes over his body blatantly and smirked when she blushed.

Nami was hot but kind of a bitch she the next person he began to ogle was Luffy. The guy was effeminate and Ren liked it.

Yuki hid slightly behind Ren feeling shy suddenly. He _hated_ first impressions and for a _very_ good reason.

Luffy, Nami, Robin, Franky, Ussop, Chopper, and Brook were all on deck. "Hi there." Ren greeted Robin.

Robin gave Ren a slight nod. Franky was moving closer and closer to Robin's side and was giving Ren a murderous look. Ren just laughed at Franky's antics. It wasn't his fault that he was hot.

At this point, Zoro and Sanji had also returned up on deck along with their haul of Sea King meat.

Nami was giving Yuki an interested look. "Oh, she's so cute! What's your name?"

Yuki flinched and could feel his cheeks turning red. This was why he _hated_ introductions – everyone always thought he was a girl at first! And that he was like 16 – it totally sucked! He was already 20 dammit!

"Mademoiselle," Sanji twirled in Yuki's direction and made a rose appear out of nowhere which he presented to Yuki. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Blackleg Sanji. And you are? At first I thought you might be a boy but…with those amazing eyes of yours…"

Ren stifled an amused snort.

Chopper sniffed in Yuki's direction. "Sanji…that's not a young lady, he's a boy."

Sanji's jaw dropped and he snatched his rose back from Yuki. "You're not a boy. That's just so…" Sanji walked away with his head hanging down and a disappointed look on his face.

Nami blinked and did a double take, looking at Yuki curiously. "Oh…"

Ren spoke up. "He's right, Yuki's a guy. And I'm Ren, by the way." Ren jabbed a thumb into his chest.

Nami blushed. "Ah, I'm sorry…." But then she smiled at Yuki again. "You're still really cute! Cute is cute!"

Yuki blushed. "Uh…thanks?"

Ren didn't like the way Nami was suddenly eyeing Yuki and moved closer to his lover. "He may be a guy but he's also taken. Like I said before: Yuki is my wench." Ren began to explain as he leaned over and placed a kiss on Yuki's cheek while he still was looking at everyone in the eye. "He's _mine_."

Yuki reddened and he froze up. _Ren?!_ He inwardly moaned in embarrassment and horror.

The jaws of the Strawhats all dropped and they simultaneously went: "Ehhhh?!"

"Is that so?" Robin began, smiling serenely, "You both make a nice couple."

Robin's immediate approval of the couple seemed to start the trend. Nami was blushing fiercely. "Ah…so you're…together?"

Ren nodded and smirked sexily at her. "Yep."

Ren's sexy smile made her heart beat a little faster inside of her chest. "Wow…" Nami muttered and had to resist fanning herself with her hand. _That's kind of a shame. Ren is freaking hot!_

Franky was just smiling and nodding by Robin's side as he tried to inconspicuously put his arm around her shoulders. Thank God the guy had someone.

Ussop was blushing furiously. He kind of thought Yuki was pretty cute too. He kinda reminded him of the soft-spoken Kaya.

Chopper was looking slightly confused. "Since you're a boy why are you wearing pink?"

Yuki opened his mouth to respond but Sanji surprised him by butting in. "Hey, Chopper, there's nothing wrong with a man wearing pink. I wear pink all the time."

"Exactly." Zoro teased.

Sanji sent his foot flying towards Zoro's head and the swordsman was forced to duck. "What was that moss-head?!"

"Oh, nothing, princess." Zoro mocked.

"Asshole!" Sanji sent a flurry of kicks Zoro's way and this time he was forced to unsheathe his swords to block the fierce attacks.

Yuki backed up a few steps in terror.

Brook whipped out his violin and began to play a lively and somewhat romantic tune. "Yohohoho! Young love at sea!"

"Oh…Ohhhh!" Luffy suddenly burst out as he hit his open left palm with his fist. "I get it! So they're in _love_." He was nodding to himself with a smile on his face. "Good for them!"

"R-R-Ren what are you doing?" Yuki hissed in Ren's ear.

"Shhh, chill, love. Yuki this is the perfect opportunity – look over there at Zoro and Sanji." Ren whispered in Yuki's ear.

Ren's hot breath wafting over Yuki's sensitive ear caused the young man to tremble with desire. Yuki did as he was told and looked over towards Zoro and Sanji. They were currently fighting each other but both of them had a slight blush to their cheeks. Maybe Ren was right and a little PDA between two guys would help Zoro and Sanji figure some things out?

Thank God the Strawhats seemed to accept their relationship so easily though! That had been horrifying, worrying, and nerve wracking all at the same time! Ren was crazy sometimes!

"This is also a good opportunity for us…no one knows us around here. I can kiss you and hold your hand in public and no one's going to give a shit in this world." Ren smiled.

This time Ren's smile wasn't sexy or sly or cunning but simply _happy_. Yuki gave Ren a shy smile in return. He supposed Ren had a point. Just the thought of getting to kiss and hold Ren's hand in public was causing butterflies to flutter in his stomach. It would be crazy…but a good kind of crazy.

Sanji took a long drag from his cigarette. He had finally stopped trying to kick Zoro's head in, but was looking at the swordsman while had had his back turned. Yuki noticed that Sanji's hand was trembling slightly. The cook blew out a stream of smoke. "I'm going to get started on dinner…" He muttered before he picked up a piece of Sea King meat and began to carry it towards the galley.

Zoro turned around and looked like he wanted to say something to the cook – perhaps offer his help but he reminded silent.

"H-H-Hey, Sanji-san, wait up!" Yuki called after Sanji in a small voice that the cook didn't hear and took off after him.

Ren nodded to himself. _Good job, Yuki._ He would leave Sanji to his lover. He approached Zoro. "Hey, I see you're a swordsman too. I use two swords. I see you use three. Your style was very interesting. Perhaps we could spar later once we get to the island and have more room."

Zoro had turned his attention to Ren, and gave the man an interested look. He was reminding him a bit of his friend Saga for some reason. "You're a swordsman? Where are your swords?"

"Ah, over here," Ren walked over the rowboat and fished out his sword case. He set it down on the deck and this time he was finally able to open it with a click. He opened his sword case and revealed two _katana_ inside.

"May I?" Zoro asked.

Ren hesitated. Under normal circumstance he wouldn't allow anyone to touch his swords. Even Yuki wasn't allowed to touch his swords though he had used the hilt of one of his swords in a very interesting way on Yuki once. Ren got a little turned on just thinking about it. He shook his head of such thoughts. "Sure, go ahead."

Zoro reached out and took out one of the swords. He unsheathed it and moved the sword through the air impressively. "This is a nice blade – it has good balance." He nodded approvingly before he sheathed the sword and replaced it inside of the box. "What's its name?"

"That one is KetsuekiBara."

Zoro reached out and picked up the second sword. He unsheathed the curved blade and moved it through the air next. He had a surprised look on his face. "This is also a nice sword – it could be the other's _twin_. Same weight and balance. Nice. And its name?"

"Thanks, man. That one is called Sakura no hana." Ren said.

Zoro sheathed the sword and replaced it inside of the case. Ren was looking at Zoro's swords curiously and trying to hide his awe. He eyed the white sheath and recognized it easily at Wado – Kuina's sword! The black sheath with the gold accents held Shusui and the red and black sheath contained Kitetsu.

Zoro caught his look, smirked and removed Shusui from his _haramaki_ and handed it to Ren. "This is Shusui."

Ren looked at Zoro in surprise. "Uh…I can touch it?"

Zoro nodded.

"I heard that Roronoa Zoro's swords are more precious to him than _anything_."

Zoro chuckled. "They are precious to me but…there are more precious things to me…like my _nakama_."

Ren nodded in understanding. "Ah, I see." He took Shusui gingerly in his hands and unsheathed it. "Whoa." It was an amazing _katana_. Ren slashed it through the air astounded by how light the sword seemed. Ren sheathed the sword and handed it back to Zoro. "Thanks, man."

Zoro removed Kitetsu from his _haramaki_ and showed it to Ren, "This is Kitetsu." He unsheathed the sword to reveal its black and red blade. "He's a very volatile sword…he likes to cut." Zoro gave Ren an assessing look. A surprised look came over his face. He could sense that Kitetsu approved Ren handling him. "Normally I would never let anyone handle Kitetsu but for some reason he's accepted you." Zoro sheathed the sword and handed it to Ren.

Ren took Kitetsu carefully in his hand and then unsheathed the deadly blade. He could feel the malevolent power surging through the blade. He loved it. Ren moved Kitetsu skillfully through the air and went through a couple of quick kata. He almost didn't want to give the sword back to Zoro. With a sword like Kitetsu in his possession nothing and no one would stand in his way. The world could be his. It took all of Ren's willpower to sheath Kitetsu again and hand the sword back to Zoro.

Zoro was giving Ren an impressed look. He knew that Kitetsu had probably tempted Ren but the man had actually managed to resist it. This guy was tough. Where the hell did he come from? Zoro took out Wado next and handled the sword gently. He hesitated before handing the sword over to Ren. "This is Wado."

"I know…" Ren breathed as he took Wado in his hands, his eyes shining.

Zoro's dark eyes narrowed at Ren. "What?"

"Your exploits are legend." Ren gave Zoro a look as if that explained everything.

"Ah," Zoro nodded but a small frown had formed on his face.

Ren unsheathed Wado and gasped. She was truly a magnificent sword. The blade seemed to gleam white with a light blue _hamon_ – burn pattern. The sword seemed so pure and innocent…he'd like to use it on Yuki and corrupt this beautiful sword.

Ren moved Wado through the air slowly. Getting to handle Zoro's swords was like a dream come true, but…he knew that wasn't why he was there. He sheathed Wado with a sigh, and handed her back to Zoro. "Hey, do you have any sword oil? I really need to polish my blades." Ren explained.

Zoro nodded. "Follow me." The swordsman began to head across the deck in the direction of the crow's nest.

Ren grabbed his backpack and his sword case before following Zoro.

ZoSanZoSanRenYukiRenYuki

Meanwhile, Yuki followed Sanji into the kitchen. He watched as Sanji placed the large chunk of Sea King meat on the kitchen island before he looked up and spotted Yuki just standing there awkwardly. Sanji raised an eyebrow at the kid. "Can I help you? Are you hungry?"

Yuki shook his head. "Uh, no, I, uh, j-j-just wanted to see if you n-n-needed any help. I-I-I'm a cook too."

Sanji gave the boy a curious look before he smiled. "Oh, I see." The poor kid was so nervous he was even stuttering! "Sure." Sanji motioned Yuki to come over to the counter. "Can you get started by helping me peel these potatoes?" Sanji waved his hand at a huge pile of potatoes that was on the counter.

"Uh, s-s-sure Sanji-san," Yuki stuttered as he picked up the potato peeler and got to work.

Sanji leaned up against the counter. "You know, there's no reason to be so nervous. I won't bite." The cook said teasingly.

"Oh, I-I'm not nervous…I-I-I have a stutter…it can get pretty bad but for some reason in this world it's been like th-th-this…" Yuki admitted, flushed, and feeling embarrassed and a little ashamed. If only he could speak like this in his world.

Sanji's eyebrows rose. "Ah, well, I'm glad I don't make you nervous! Sorry, if I was rude with you earlier. I was just disappointed to find out you weren't a beautiful young lady." The cook grinned and ruffled Yuki's hair. "I'm going to go get the rest of the Sea King meat. I need to store it in the freezer before Luffy decides to just eat it raw!"

"D-Do you need any help?" Yuki asked.

Sanji shook his head. "Just keep peeling those potatoes."

"O-Okay." Yuki agreed.

Sanji went back out on deck and began to carry the huge chunks of Sea King meat back into the kitchen and store them in the gigantic freezer Franky had made Sanji. After Sanji was finished he wiped some sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He washed and dried his hands before picking up one of his favorite carving knives. He approached the huge block of meat and set to work cutting it into small cubes.

Yuki watched Sanji as he peeled potatoes and his eyes bugged. Sanji's knife was a blur as it moved through the air and in seconds Sanji had a huge pile of cubed meat in front of him. Sanji set the knife down and began to season the meat with salt, pepper and spices.

"Wow." Yuki couldn't stop the word from slipping past his lips.

Sanji heard it and blushed slightly. "It's nothing."

Yuki was surprised by this reaction from Sanji. Like he wasn't used to praise. "I've always a-a-admired you."

Sanji's brow furrowed and he gave Yuki a surprised look. "Huh?"

Yuki blushed. "I mean…you're a legend in the Grand Line! The Greatest Chef in the Grand Line, they say."

Sanji chuckled. "Rumors are usually over exagerated. I still have a long way to go."

"Well, I hope I can be as amazing a chef as you one day, Sanji-san." Yuki said.

"Just keep practicing hard, kid. You have a long life ahead of you."

"I-I'm not as young as you think. I-I'm 20." Yuki explained.

"Eh? 20!? No way!" Sanji turned to give Yuki a surprised look. "We're close in age then!" He looked Yuki's outfit over. Yuki was wearing a simple, fitted pink t-shirt, a pair of jeans and pink and white sneakers. "Hmm, you dress like a kid though."

Yuki blushed. "Ah, it's hard to find clothes that look good on me. I tend to wear women's clothing. I'm too…small."

Sanji raised an eyebrow at the cute young man, "What you need is a nice suit!" The cook proclaimed.

Yuki's eyes widened, "Me? In a suit? Ehhhh? I'd look ridiculous…"

Sanji shook his head, "No you wouldn't. You just need a proper tailor." Sanji affirmed as he walked around Yuki and looked him over. "You have a nice lithe figure – your clothes are just too big for you though. You need to show off your slim hips and collar bone – not hide them. A vest and button down shirt and some tight slacks would look good on you. Or a button down shirt and some tight slacks. Hmmm." Sanji tapped his chin in thought. "When we get to the next island you and I are going to go shopping, Mister!"

Yuki gave Sanji a horrified look. He hated shopping. "Ehhh?" And the idea of getting to shop with Blackleg Sanji was just…a little overwhelming.

Sanji laughed at Yuki's obviously horrified expression. He got out a huge frying pan, added some olive oil and tossed in the meat. He turned the stove on and made sure the burner was producing a low fire. He then got out some green peppers, onions, and began to chop them at top speed.

Yuki was almost done with the potatoes at this point and his one hand was throbbing in pain.

"So…" Sanji began. "You and that guy-?"

"Ren?"

"Yea, Ren…you're together?" Sanji questioned curiously.

Yuki nodded, shyly.

Sanji bit his lower lip as if he wanted to ask something but didn't want to be rude. "Isn't it…scary?" Sanji murmured in a small voice.

"Wh-what?" Yuki asked.

Sanji waved his hands in front of him awkwardly. "Ah, no, forget it! It's none of my business…!" He blushed.

Yuki felt mortified. The last thing he wanted to talk to Blackleg Sanji was the logistic behind _gay sex_ but…he had the feeling that Ren was right and that that's why they were there. "It was at first but…it can feel really good and Ren is pretty gentle despite how he looks…"

Sanji turned bright red, "But why would you…with a man…if it was scary?"

Yuki let out a sigh and ran a hand back through his hair. "Ren is my knight in shining armor. He always seems to be there when I need him. In my world, er, where I come from people aren't very accepting of the fact that I'm a guy but am so feminine at the same time. This one time, I was getting picked on by some bullies because of my stutter. I think they were going to beat me up. They were shoving me, trying to get me to talk, and laughing at me. I was terrified. But then Ren showed up out of nowhere and started beating them up. He saved me."

"And then you guys got together?"

Yuki shook his head. "I don't trust people easily. I didn't trust him at first…I thought that he helped me with ulterior motives. He was also so good looking and known for being a bit of a playboy, so I didn't want to have anything to do with him. It took me two years before I let him talk to me and then he didn't keep it a secret that he found me 'cute'. I was…surprised, flattered and yes at first I was afraid but…sometimes you have to take a risk. Now…Ren if my lover. I don't regret it. I actually wish I could have found the courage to talk to him sooner but I was a coward."

Sanji was giving Yuki a thoughtful look. "You're no coward, Yuki. In fact you're really brave…braver than me…" _I can't even face my emotions like this kid was able to. _

"Sanji-san?" Yuki questioned. _I'm not brave at all…what is he saying?_

Sanji shook his head, scooped up the vegetables, and added them to the gigantic pan. He started to stir the mixture and the delicious scent of cooking meat and vegetables filled the galley.

Yuki bit down on his lower lip. "S-Sanji? D-Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"No, go ahead and shoot."

"Have you ever been attracted to a man before?" Yuki held his breath as he awaited Sanji's response.

Sanji stilled and sucked in a breath.

"Ah, I'm sorry, you don't have to answer," Yuki quickly said.

Sanji turned around and looked at the door worriedly. He ran a hand back through his hair in a nervous gesture. He got out a cigarette, lit it, and took a drag. "No, it's okay. I just…I never planned on talking about this…ever. I planned on taking it to the grave with me…"

Yuki licked his lips and leaned forward intently. "W-What?"

Sanji let out a sigh and narrowed his eyes at Yuki. "If you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you…you're dead. Got it?"

Yuki gulped and nodded. "Understood, Sanji-san!" _Although I'm probably going to tell Ren whatever he tells me…ah, I hope he doesn't kill me!_

"A while back our crew all got separated. We were sent our separate ways and I ended up on this hellish island called Momoiro Island – where men like to dress up like women." Sanji shuddered. "I…while I was there I battled against one of the Okama and he used his hypnosis on me…for days I went around that island dressed like a woman. But when I found out that Luffy's brother Ace had been killed I was snapped out of the hypnosis but…I remembered something I had been thinking about while under hypnosis…" Sanji swallowed and his hands were trembling. "Zoro."

Yuki waited for Sanji to elaborate. "You thought about you and Zoro having-?"

"NO!" Sanji raised a hand to stop Yuki. "I just…remember thinking about him for some reason." Sanji shrugged. "I didn't think about us doing anything. But…I just remember the feeling I had while I had been thinking about him and…fuck…" Sanji took a long drag from his cigarette. "It must have been the hypnosis…I'm a lady's man, you know? I live for the ladies. Women are delicate flowers that need to be protected and cherished by gentlemen like me. And I hate men…it makes no sense.."

Yuki gave Sanji an intense look. This was better than Yuki had expected! Maybe he and Ren had been right, and Zoro and Sanji were just in denial about their feelings for each other. Sanji had just admitted to thinking about Zoro while they had been separated for two years.

Yuki couldn't screw this up! He had to help Sanji! Help him come to terms with his own feelings – which as he knew was a terrifying thing to do.

"Sanji-san…and what happened when the two of you were reunited after those two years? What did you feel?" Yuki asked tentatively.

Sanji puffed on his cigarette thoughtfully, as he remembered his first encounter with Zoro after two years. How he'd heard Zoro described with a scar and then seen him with the scar over his left eye. "I was…pissed."

Yuki blinked. "Huh?"

"That idiot! He managed to get himself blinded in one eye! He's going to be the Greatest Swordsman in the World! He needs both of his eyes…that idiot!" Sanji groused.

Yuki's eyes widened. "Oh…so you're pissed at Zoro…or you're pissed at the one who did that to him?"

"Wait? What?" Sanji suddenly narrowed his eyes at Yuki. "You know who did that to Zoro?"

"Huh…oh…hmmm didn't Zoro stay on Mihawk's island for two years to train? It must have been him, right?"

"Mihawk…" Sanji growled and crushed his cigarette between his fingers. A fierce glint had formed in his eyes.

_Oh shit…!_ Yuki thought, beginning to panic. _Did I say something I shouldn't have? Would Sanji attack Mihawk? No way…I doubt they'll ever meet, right? CRAP!_

Sanji had put a pot of water to boil on the stove and began to toss the potatoes in. He continued to work in silence as Yuki assisted him and tried not to freak out that maybe he had a BIG mouth!

Meanwhile, Ren and Zoro were currently polishing their swords together. Ren couldn't wait for the opportunity to spar against Zoro! He looked tough and that was exactly what Ren wanted – a challenge. He looked around the empty crow's nest – now was the perfect opportunity to ask about Zoro's non-relationship with Sanji. _But how to word it?_ A mischievous glint came to Ren's eyes as he got an idea.

"So…how is he?" Ren began conversationally.

"Huh?" Zoro asked.

"Blackleg Sanji?"

Zoro blinked. "Huh?"

Ren rolled his eyes and gave Zoro an exasperated look. "How is Blackleg Sanji in bed?"

Ren watched Zoro's face turn red and then this murderous glint came to Zoro's dark eyes. In the blink of an eye Zoro was suddenly in front of Ren and with Shusui to his throat. "What was that?"

"Whoa, chill, _buddy_." Ren said sarcastically but put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Are you the type that doesn't like to fuck and tell?"

"What the fuck?" Zoro growled.

Ren sighed and gave Zoro a thoughtful look. "So I'm guessing the rumors about you two aren't true then?"

"Rumors?" The swordsman growled.

Ren nodded. "Yea, man, all through the Grand Line people are saying that you're fucking Blackleg Sanji and that you're his bitch-"

Zoro's sword dug into Ren's throat and he stopped talking. Perhaps he had pushed Zoro too far? But he didn't really care. "I would never bend over for anyone." Zoro growled in a low voice.

"Oh, I see how it is then. Sanji must be _your_ bitch. I guess I heard wrong."

"You bastard." Zoro's sword drew blood. A thin red line had formed on the side of Ren's neck and the man didn't even flinch. He realized he was going too far. "What the fuck?" Zoro groaned out as he pulled his sword back. He suddenly looked terrified as Ren's words began to sink in. "There are rumors like that? If the cook finds out…he'll kill me…" Zoro put his face in his hand.

Ren sat back and gave Zoro a curious look. "Why?"

Zoro ran his hand down his face and gave Ren an incredulous look . "Why? Because the cook is straight – as straight as an arrow and he's a total lady's man. He's _crazy_ for the ladies. If he finds out there's some rumor going around that he's gay and gay for me…he's going to be so fucking _pissed_!"

"And are you?"

"Huh?"

"Are you straight too?" Ren asked keenly and with a teasing smile on his face that was slightly suggestive. Ren oozed pheromones.

Zoro flinched and narrowed his eyes at Ren. "I don't like to differentiate between men and women. But if you're asking if I'm after the cook then you're wrong. He's my _nakama_." The swordsman huffed.

Ren's eyes twinkled with mischief. He was going to gamble. "Liar."

"What?"

"I said 'liar'. You like the cook. You want to fuck his brains out."

"Pfft. No, I don't…" Zoro said but he averted his eyes.

"If you don't then why did you just defend him just now, hm? When I called him your 'bitch' you got super defensive. I thought you were going to chop my head off, _buddy_."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "The cook is my _nakama_. Of course I defended him."

"Let me ask you this then…you know I'm gay. What if I were to tell you I had an interest in the cook and was going to make him mine. How would you feel?" Ren licked his lips.

Zoro was trembling with rage. This asshole! "What the fuck? You stay away from the cook, you pervert. Sanji's not like that…!"

Ren just smirked at the swordsman. "What if I were to tell you that Sanji _is_ like that."

"What?" Zoro snapped.

"Do you have any idea where Sanji was during his two years away from you guys and what he was up to?"

Zoro shook his head. "Something about being in hell…"

Ren wondered how much more he should tell Zoro. _Ah, fuck it._ "What if I were to tell you that Sanji was running around in a dress for two years?"

Zoro blinked before he chuckled darkly. "I'd say 'you're full of shit' asshole."

Ren grinned. "But I'm not. Go ahead and ask him to tell you about it. I'm not lying. He's hiding something from all of you…well, especially _you_."

"How the fuck do you know all of this? Just who are you guys, really?" Zoro's look shifted from anger to wariness.

Ren just smiled. "I'm just a pirate cruising around the New World with my wench. We're fans of the Strawhats, maybe?" Ren teased and laughed. "We like to keep ourselves informed of everything you guys are up to."

Zoro was buying this bullshit story. "What the fuck does any of this have to do with you guys?"

"You and Sanji piss us off because it's so obvious you two are in denial. You guys need to get a clue already, cowards." Ren goaded as he put his swords back inside of his case and snapped it closed. He hated being a dick to Zoro but…this was all part of the plan. People usually thought he was a dick anyways. Ren frowned at the thought before he shook his head to clear it of such dark thoughts. Ren walked over to his backpack and fished out a magazine. "Hey, have you ever seen a gay porn magazine before?"

"A what?" Zoro frowned and his brow furrowed.

Ren tossed Zoro the magazine. "I want you to read that and after you're done with it try telling me with a straight face that you didn't just imagine Sanji in all those…positions." Ren smirked evilly. He was really getting into his 'villain role'. "I'll leave you two alone." He winked.

"What the fuck?" Zoro opened up the magazine and his eyes bugged at the sight of two naked men fucking! "Ack!" He threw the magazine across the room.

Ren chuckled as he opened the hatch and began to make his way down the stairs.

Zoro watched him go before going over to close and lock the hatch behind him. He walked back over to the porno magazine and opened it up. "God…fuck…" He blushed. Was that Ren guy right and he was in denial for his feelings for the cook? He was a swordsman – he didn't have time for love. He worked and trained hard to get rid of weak emotions that might hinder him in battle like love and lust.

He was training to be the World's Greatest Swordsman – he didn't have time for distractions. Which was why he'd buried everything so deep inside.

He remembered when he'd first encountered Sanji at the Baratie. He'd definitely found the young man attractive and had even been strangely drawn to him but…then Sanji had opened his mouth and started spouting words of love and admiration for Nami and he squashed those initial feelings deep inside.

But if Ren was right and Sanji was into those things now…what could that mean? Shouldn't Zoro just continue to ignore it? But…what if Sanji ended up being with some other man? Even Ren? Because Zoro was too cowardly to make a move and claim what subconsciously he'd been thinking of as 'his' all along? _Shit…_

Zoro had been planning on taking those nameless emotions with him to the grave. He didn't want to lose his…nakamaship with Sanji. Or to disrespect the cook…but _damn_…

Zoro flipped through the pages of the porno book and could feel himself getting hard. It was impossible to look at these images and not visualize the cook. What did that mean? He was fucked. That bastard Ren was right. Zoro opened the top button of his pants and pulled down the zipper.

ZoSanZoSanRenYuki

_Fuck…I can't believe I was such a dick to Roronoa Zoro. I really admire him. But he was getting on my nerves…damned homophobes piss me off. He obviously has a 'thing' for Sanji. He should just admit it, make a move, and man up already. _

_I hate homophobes._ Ren thought as he touched the burn scar on his right hand. He began to think about the time he'd come to Yuki's rescue. Some guys had jumped Yuki and pushed him up against a wall in such a way that Yuki's hand had been bent backwards. Yuki had tried to escape and ended up touching a hot burning pipe. Ren had showed up just in time to pull Yuki off the pipe before he got seriously burned. Those jerks were just jealous because Yuki had been spending time with their girlfriends, baking them cookies, and making them cute animal shaped wallets. His boyfriend was good with his hands. A scowl formed on his face. Or rather –used to be good with his hands. Ren wasn't sure if Yuki's hands would ever be 100% again. _Those bastards._ Just thinking about it made Ren want to beat the shit out of something. Well, at least his Yuki could still cook…he just couldn't make anything too complex.

Ren made his way down the ladder and headed towards the galley. He _needed_ to talk to his Yuki. Ren entered the galley and set his backpack and sword case down. He looked up and saw Yuki helping Sanji to cook silently. There was a heavy silence between them. Crap…had Yuki screwed up too? They were in way over their heads.

"Yuki." Ren called out as he stalked over towards the kitchen island.

Yuki turned to face Ren and his green eyes lit up when he caught sight of his lover, "Ren."

Ren reached out and grabbed Yuki's wrist. "We need to talk." Ren said gruffly as he began to pull Yuki out of the kitchen.

"Ehhh? B-B-But I'm still helping S-Sanji…" Yuki argued, blushed and embarrassed by Ren's aggressive behavior.

Sanji watched them go curiously, and smiled. "Don't worry Yuki everything is almost done anyways – I'll call you guys when it's ready."

Yuki didn't get a chance to respond as his forceful lover dragged Yuki out of the galley and up some steps. "Eh, Ren where are we going?"

"The orange tree grove…" Ren replied. He dragged Yuki into the grove and then shoved Yuki up against one of the orange trees. Ren then leaned over and smashed his lips against Yuki's hungrily. _I'm running low on Yuki._ _Must recharge. _

_Ren?_ Yuki wondered as he gripped Ren's shirt and started to kiss him back. He could sense that something was bothering his lover.

Ren pulled away after several minutes, panting and leaned his forehead against Yuki's. "Fuck…I think I messed up, Yuki. I was a total dick to Roronoa Zoro. And I really admire him."

"Ren…?"

"But these homophobes were getting on my nerves…you know how much I hate homophobes." Ren began to explain.

Yuki gave Ren a confused look. "Eh? I don't think they're homophobes, Ren. I was just talking to Sanji and he admitted that while he was on Momoiro Island he thought about Zoro."

"Thought about him and Zoro fucking?" Ren raised an eyebrow.

Yuki blushed. "N-No! He said he just found himself thinking about him but I think Zoro and Sanji are just…_shy_. I don't think we should rush them, Ren. Sanji's…_scared_."

"Scared?" Ren scoffed. "What's there to be afraid of – of the world's greatest pleasure with the one you love?" The _seme_ leaned over and began to kiss Yuki aggressively once more.

Yuki melted into the kiss, and his legs turning into jelly. Ren's kisses totally dominated him. Ren would search and taste his entire mouth and wouldn't let Yuki's tongue enter his own mouth. All Yuki was able to do was cling to Ren.

Ren reached out, slipped his hands beneath Yuki's t-shirt, and ran his hands over Yuki's stomach and up to tease his nipples. Yuki squirmed and gasped in pleasure. Ren knew all his most sensitive spots.

Ren removed Yuki's t-shirt and tossed it to the grass deck. Yuki felt self-conscious because he didn't like his effeminate body but – Ren was looking at him with this look of obvious hunger.

It made Yuki's heart soar.

Ren leaned over and began to lick and nibble Yuki's nipples until he almost fell over. Ren removed his wife beater shirt and tossed it to the grass deck.

Yuki licked his lips as he got to gaze upon his lover's naked torso and admire his tattoos. Ren had a dragon tattoo on his neck, a snake coiling around his hips in a deliciously sinful manner, on his upper left shoulder there was a Celtic style knot, and on his right wrist was the _kanji_ for warrior.

Ren could see his lover trembling with desire for him and reached out, grabbed Yuki's face with his two hands and slammed their mouths together. Ren put his hand behind Yuki's back to bring them closer so that their chests were pressed up against each other. Yuki let out a low moan at the feeling of his nipples pressing up against Ren's.

He was getting hard. "Ah, Ren…no…stop…not here…"

Ren ignored Yuki and kissed him even more fiercely. He began to unbutton Yuki's pants.

However-

Someone cleared their throat loudly. "Ahem."

Ren and Yuki turned to see a very uncomfortable looking Sanji standing there with a blush across his face. "I've been calling you guys for a while…I, uh, dinner's ready."

Ren slipped his hand into Yuki's pants and Yuki freaked. "R-R-Ren!" He shoved his lover back with surprising force. Even Ren gave Yuki a surprised look. "Keh…damned cook interrupted our fun." Ren stalked over to grab his shirt and pulled it on. He gave Yuki a look which clearly read: 'you're going to punished for this later'.

Yuki gulped and just sunk to his knees as his strength left him. His face was bright red. This was so embarrassing!

Sanji gave Yuki an understanding look. "So you guys had to 'talk' huh?" He teased before turning on his heel and leaving the two young men.

Yuki put his face in his hands and groaned. "Oh my God, that was so embarrassing…_Ren_…"

Ren just chuckled darkly. "Think Blackleg liked the show? He looked a little flushed. You should have let me finish what I started, _Yuki_."

Yuki stared up at his lover. "You are evil."

"I know." He smirked sexily. "But I know you love it."

Yuki ignored that comment. "Ack! I forgot!" He stared up at his lover in horror. "I screwed up too, Ren!"

"Huh? What did you do?" Ren asked.

"I told Sanji that the one who caused Zoro's blindness in his one eye was Mihawk! And he looked freaking murderous! I think if he encounters Mihawk he's going to attack him…!"

"Mihawk," Ren's eyes sparkled with excitement. "It would be sweet to meet the World's Greatest Swordsman! Ah, I wouldn't worry about it Yuki. I mean, the Strawhats aren't going to run into Mihawk until like the end of the show or whatever – it will be like the ultimate climactic battle: Zoro versus Mihawk. It's not like he's going to show up at the next island we stop at or anything! Hah!"

"Yea…" Yuki agreed, but his stomach was twisting itself into knots. He couldn't shake the bad feeling he had about this…

Ren and Yuki joined the Strawhats for diner. It was as chaotic as it appeared in the anime – Luffy was trying to steal everyone's food but soon gave up on trying to steal Yuki's food because Ren continued to protect it for him. Yuki wished that Ren would have just let Luffy steal his food since he was so nervous that he barely had any appetite. Ren was giving him a look which clearly said 'eat'. Yuki sighed and shoved some food into his mouth. As a rubbery arm went sailing over Ren's plate Ren actually sunk his teeth into Luffy's arm.

Everyone at the table went silent in shock for a moment before Ren opened his mouth and smiled. "He's made out of rubber." He said by way of explanation.

"Shishishi." Luffy agreed with a laugh. "Good thing too!"

Ussop shuddered. "Mental note: don't piss off Ren."

"Scary." Chopper nodded vigorously.

Brook was playing violin. And Franky was sneaking peaks at Robin but it was incredibly obvious. Zoro had a huge scowl on his face and was stabbing at his food viciously with his fork.

Sanji was serving the ladies wine when he noticed Zoro's antics and his eye twitched. He set the bottle of wine down before he walked over to Zoro and sent his foot flying in the swordsman's direction. "Shitty swordsman!"

Zoro ducked in his seat as the foot flew over his head. He turned to give Sanji an incredulous but somewhat guilty look. "What the hell cook? What did I do…?"

Sanji narrowed his eyes at Zoro. The swordsman gulped nervously and began to sweat.

Sanji pointed at Zoro's plate of food. "Don't play with your food! There are people starving out there, Marimo!"

Zoro let out a breath of relief. "Oh…is that all?" Zoro returned his attention back to his food and began to mechanically shovel it into his mouth.

A flash of hurt crossed Sanji's features but it was gone in a second. Only Yuki had noticed it. "Uh, S-S-Sanji…your cooking is delicious." Yuki offered.

Sanji beamed. "Thank you, Yuki!"

"Sanji is the best cook ever!" Luffy readily put in.

"Hmmm I still like my Yuki's home cooking best," Ren declared before leaning over and kissing Yuki's cheek tenderly.

Yuki blushed.

"I can't wait for my dessert…" Ren purred in Yuki's ear. "I still have to punish you for earlier."

Zoro began to choke on a potato.

"Hey, don't choke on my food Marimo!" Sanji hit Zoro's back helpfully.

Zoro glared up at the cook, face red.

Ren reached out and grabbed Yuki's hand. Yuki looked at Ren wide-eyed and tried to tug his hand away but Ren only tightened his hold.

"Ren…" Yuki started.

"What?" Ren gave his lover an innocent look. No one was buying it. That guy whoever he was - was far from innocent.

Sanji's hand was still on Zoro's back.

Zoro abruptly stood up from his chair. "I just lost my appetite." He growled before he stomped out of the galley.

Sanji watched Zoro go with a sad look on his face. He sighed and sat down in the seat where Zoro had been siting and began to eat his leftover food.

"That's an indirect kiss, you know," Ren teased.

"Huh?" Sanji said.

"You just put a fork that was in Zoro's mouth in your mouth. You know - an indirect _kiss_." Ren purred.

"Ren!" Yuki hissed.

Sanji blushed bright red. "K-K-Kiss?!" He fainted right out of his chair.

"Sanji!" Yuki went to the fallen man's side. "Look what you did, Ren!" _I'm the one who's usually fainting all over the place. This world is weird. _

Ren just laughed in amusement while looking quite pleased with himself. "And this is only the beginning!"

TBC…!

AN: So my friend Yuki wanted to make a 'self-insertion' fic where he and his hubby Ren fall into the One Piece World and have an adventure with the characters there. This fic is going to be a Birthday present from Yuki to Ren…AWWW! Isn't that sweet? Hope you all like it!


	2. Chapter 2

Tactless Tactics

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Piece.

Part II

"Land Ho!" Ussop called from the crow's nest of the Thousand Sunny. The call brought the Strawhats all out on deck as well as Yuki and Ren. Yuki was looking a little green due to his seasickness from the swaying of the ship.

Luffy was seated on the lion head with his one hand shielding his eyes from the glare of the sun as he peered ahead. "Ooo! What a cool looking island! It looks dangerous!"

Sanji and Zoro were standing on either side of their Captain. Sanji took out a cigarette, lit it and took a drag. He didn't like the looks of that island one bit – it looked like it was covered in a gray mist, dark skeletal looking trees could be seen through the mist and there was a mountain range in the distance. "Spooky." Sanji muttered in a low voice.

Zoro was looking at the island with a thoughtful frown on his face. That island looked oddly familiar – that thick gray mist, those skeletal trees, that mountain range. He began to unconsciously grit his teeth and his hand drifted to the hilts of his three swords. He felt uneasy for some unknown reason.

Sanji noticed Zoro's unease and tensed up as if preparing for battle. "What's up Marimo? Do you sense something?"

Zoro shook his head. "No, it's just…that island looks oddly familiar."

Sanji raised his eyebrows at Zoro. "Familiar? That sounds strange coming from you, Mr. Directionless…I thought all islands, trees, and mountains looked the same to you, moss-head."

Zoro turned to glare at Sanji heatedly. "They don't!"

Sanji let out a long stream of smoke in Zoro's direction. "Well, have you been here before?"

Zoro shrugged. To him it looked a hell of a lot of Mihawk's island. But that was impossible, right? Or had Mihawk's island been located in the New World? Zoro had never been good with directions.

Meanwhile, Ren and Yuki were standing at the bow and peering at the island curiously. Yuki's eyes were wide with fear. "Th-Th-That island…isn't that…?" Yuki said before he ended up throwing up over the side of the railing.

Ren gave his lover a concerned look before reaching out to rub circles on Yuki's back as he threw up. He then spoke in a low voice that only his lover could hear. "Yes, that's Mihawk's island. We should say something."

"N-No, don't. But…how?" Yuki asked, trembling.

Ren shook his head. "I don't know but…" Ren's hand drifted down to the hilt of one of his swords. "This could be a good opportunity." He was smiling and a bloodthirsty aura seemed to be flaring up around Ren.

Yuki turned to give Ren a look of disbelief. "Y-Y-You want to fight him? Are you crazy? No, Ren – just…no. I don't want to lose you. Without you I…I'd be lost without you."

Ren reached out and ruffled Yuki's head of copper hair. "Hey…have a little faith in me. But don't worry. I won't fight him if that's what you really want. Besides, Zoro is the one who is destined to fight Mihawk – but if he fails or something I'm totally going to step in and take over that fight though." There was a feral grin on his face. _And if the opportunity arises where I can help Zoro – I'm taking it. But Yuki doesn't really need to know that. _

Yuki rolled his eyes at his badass lover. He wouldn't be surprised at all if that happened.

"I'll go with Zoro and keep an eye on him. That way I'll also get to spar against him. Meanwhile, I want you to stick with Sanji." Ren advised.

Yuki nodded. "O-Okay."

"I have a lot of supplies I need to get. We're running low on a lot of things – especially salt." Sanji gave the island a disapproving look and clucked his tongue. "I wonder if that place will have what I'm looking for."

Yuki made his way over to stand next to Sanji. "I-I-I can help you go get supplies, Sanji-san." He offered.

Sanji jumped and turned to stare at Yuki with wide eyes. "How long have you been standing there?!"

Yuki shrugged. "A while."

Sanji chuckled and reached out to ruffle Yuki's hair. The kid – er – young man was so cute. "I see. Well, of course you can come and help me. We have to see if there's a good tailor on this island too, remember? I'm going to help you get a suit!"

Yuki blushed at the thought of Sanji dressing him up and the idea of him in a suit still didn't sit so well with him. He still thought he would probably end up looking ridiculous. What was with everyone and wanting to dress him up all the time anyways, good grief.

Yuki tried to force a smile on his face – it came out as a kind of grimace.

Sanji chuckled at Yuki. "You don't look so enthused but just leave everything to me! Ren will think you look very handsome."

Yuki's face turned bright red. "Uh…yea…"

The Strawhats arrived at the mysterious island, and the Sunny sailed into the harbor. The ship docked, the anchor was lowered, and Franky lowered the gangplank. The Strawhats began to disembark. Ussop, Chopper, Franky and Brook were going to stay behind and watch the ship. Luffy, Robin and Nami were going to go look for 'adventure' – but really Nami was on a treasure hunt.

Ren sidled up to Zoro, "Hey man, do you have anything you need to do here? If not how about we find a good place on the beach so we can spar?" Ren's fingers were tingling with anticipation to grip his swords.

Zoro turned to look at Ren and he smiled. The last thing he wanted was to be thinking about Mihawk and Perona. Ren would be a good distraction. "Sounds good." Zoro agreed.

The two young men left the others and made their way down the beach. They needed to find a wide-open area so that they could spar and somewhere where there were no innocent bystanders around.

As soon as the Strawhats stepped off of the gangplank and onto the sandy beach several dreary looking villagers approached the Strawhats in order to try and sell them various things – fruit, handmade jewelry, and strangest of all protective talismans.

"Ooo!" Luffy exclaimed as he was shown a golden cross that a villager was dangling in front of Luffy's face.

The man was dressed in a black, ratty, hooded cloak, and had dark shadows beneath his eyes. He had extremely pale skin and hollow cheeks. "This cross will protect you from our Master – the Vampire Lord." The villager declared.

"Vampire Lord?" Nami asked as she looked at the cross closely. "And that cross isn't even real – it's fake! You swindler!"

The man began to tremble, "Ah…it's just supposed to be a protective talisman. That's why it's so cheap young lady. Only three beli. You see that mountain range." The man pointed off into the distance. "It separates our side of the island from HIS side of the island. It essentially splits the island in half. The Vampire Lord has a mansion on that side of the island and strange, dangerous, bloodthirsty creatures live in the forest around his home. As long as we stay on this side of the island and never trespass to HIS side the Vampire Lord doesn't bother us and in fact lends us his protection. No one really dares to set foot upon this island because of the legend of the Vampire. Unfortunately, that's also why this is such a poor village. We were all really surprised when you docked here so…fearlessly."

"Ooo a vampire! I want to meet him! He could become one of our _nakama_!" Luffy exclaimed with stars in his eyes and a wide grin stretched across his face.

BONK!

Nami bonked Luffy over the head with her fist. "Luffy! You are _not_ going to get to meet that Vampire! You hear me!"

"Aw man," Luffy pouted and looked put out. "You're no fun, Nami."

One of the villagers had a basket full of rolled up scrolls and this caught Robin's eye. "What are those, sir?"

"Ah, young lady, they are maps of our island. Would you like to purchase one?" The villager asked.

Robin nodded, "Yes, please."

"That will be two beli." The man said handing Robin the scroll.

Robin paid the man. "Thank you, milady!" The villager smiled at Robin and revealed he was missing a few teeth.

Robin unrolled the map and held it out before her so that everyone could see it. The map revealed that the mountain range completely cut the island in half. On the far side of the island, past the mountain range was where the Vampire Lord lived and where his castle was too apparently. Surrounding the castle was a forest that was apparently filled with monsters – if the little monster heads with horns and pointy teeth that had been drawn on the map were any indication. On this side of the island where the village was located there was also a forest but it was apparently monster free.

Sanji peered down at the map curiously. Unfortunately, it wasn't very detailed. He frowned. "I doubt this village has a tailor after all." He pouted.

"Ah, but our fair village does have a tailor, kind sir!" Came a small voice.

Sanji turned and looked down to see a young boy dressed in tattered clothes. He had a mop of dirty blonde hair, wide brown eyes, and a smile on his face. The kid also had a pair of plain, scuffed, brown leather shoes on his feet. "I can take you there for three beli!" The street urchin offered.

Sanji frowned when he caught sight of the kid – he looked so scrawny, malnourished, and his ribs were slightly showing though his tight shirt. It reminded him of what he had probably looked like after he'd finally been rescued from that rock with Zeff.

Sanji offered the boy a soft smile, "Sure, kid, but how about I give you 50 beli instead so you can go treat yourself to a nice meal?"

The boy's eyes widened in surprise and he nodded vigorously. "That's a deal, sir!" The boy began to lead the way.

"Come on, Yuki." Sanji called behind him.

"C-Coming!" Yuki called out.

The boy led Sanji and Yuki down a cobbled street that cut through the heart of the dreary village. "So what's your name kid?" Sanji asked.

"My name is Alek." The boy said.

"Nice to meet you, Alek. I'm Sanji and this is Yuki." Sanji introduced himself and jerked his thumb in Yuki's direction.

The boy's gaze flickered over to Yuki and a slight blush formed on his face. "You're pretty."

Yuki blushed and sputtered. "U-Uh…th-thanks?"

Sanji chuckled good-naturedly. "Soon we'll have people saying you look handsome. You'll see, Yuki-kun."

"I doubt it!" Yuki argued back.

The trio reached the tailor shop. It was a simple building with a swinging wooden sign that simply read: _Tailor_. A front window displayed a black, formal suit and a conservative female dress. Sanji had noticed that this village really was plain and conservative. The villagers Sanji had seen thus far were dressed similarly to the outfits that were on display. The men all wore plain black suits and top hats. While the women all wore high-necked black dresses. Sanji gave Alek the 50 beli. "Here kid."

Alek grinned and his eyes sparkled. "Thank you…I guess there are good pirates in this world too!" The kid was about to run off when Yuki stopped him.

"H-H-Hey w-wait." Yuki said as he bent over and took his sneakers off. He handed his shoes to the kid. "Here."

The kid took the strange but cool looking shoes from Yuki with an awed expression on his face. "I can have these? Really?! Gee, thanks!" The kid said before he ran off.

Sanji was smiling and giving Yuki an affectionate look. "Guess we'll have to get you a new pair of shoes now too." Sanji had to resist the urge to hug Yuki and shook his head surprised at his thoughts. _That's weird. I've never had the urge to hug a man before. _

Yuki blushed and sputtered. "O-O-Oh my God, I didn't even think about that. I'm so sorry."

Sanji dismissed Yuki's concern with a wave of his hand, opened the door to the Tailor's, and stepped inside as if he owned the place. Yuki followed Sanji shyly. A little bell that had been hung above the door chimed as they entered.

Sanji immediately looked around the Tailor's shop with a critical eye. He went over to inspect the clothes for sale that had been displayed on racks and on shelves. He reached out and touched the different materials available. Sanji was surprised by the high quality of the items in the store. They were a little conservative but they were well made and the materials were high quality.

He even found a tiny suit that would probably fit Yuki. It would only need a few adjustments to make it a little less…_dour_.

"Hellooo." Came a drawling voice.

Sanji and Yuki turned to see a very tall, pale, thin man with a widow's peak, who was wearing a plain black suit. The man had sharp dark eyes.

Yuki's eyes widened in fear and he began to tremble. "It-It-It's the vampire!"

The Tailor raised an eyebrow at Yuki and looked a little affronted. "Indeed. I am Sebastien – the Tailor of this Village."

Sanji strode forward and stuck out his hand, "I'm Blackleg Sanji and this is my friend Yuki."

Sebastien took Sanji's hand and his eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Blackleg Sanji…I have hear of you…from my Master."

Sanji blinked in confusion. "Your master?"

"The Vampire Lord who lives on the other side of the island – I am his personal Tailor. I'm one of the few villagers allowed to cross through the mountains using the pass. The monsters don't disturb me." Sebastien explained.

Sanji frowned. "Some Vampire Lord knows about me? That's kind of weird."

_It must be Mihawk!_ Yuki realized. _This is Mihawk's island…! I don't know why the villagers are calling Mihawk a vampire but…it must be him. That's why he knows who Sanji is. _

"Maybe I should go pay this Vampire a visit," Sanji mused aloud.

"N-N-No!" Yuki burst out, his eyes wide and frantic, "Y-Y-You can't!" Yuki grabbed onto Sanji's arm.

Sanji turned to give Yuki a surprised look. "What? Why not?"

Yuki flushed. "Uh…b-b-because he's a vampire! It's too d-d-dangerous. P-P-Please Sanji-san…promise me you won't go!"

Sanji's expression softened and he reached out to ruffle Yuki's hair. Yuki was a kind person. "Don't worry, I won't. I don't really have much of a reason to go." Sanji turned his attention back to the tailor. "Anyways, my friend here needs a suit. I saw one that might fit my friend but it needs a few alterations." Sanji removed the suit from the rack and carried it over to the checkout counter and set it down.

"Ah, yes…this is a child's funeral suit." Sebastien explained in a dour tone.

Yuki gulped. "F-F-Funeral?"

Sanji chuckled, "I figured as much. Do you have a piece of paper and a pencil I could borrow?"

"Of course," Sebastien said as he retrieved a piece of paper and a pencil for Sanji before setting it down on the counter. Sanji immediately set to work, sketched a drawing of the suit, and then added the changes he wanted to make to it. Sanji pointed to the drawing with the pencil and began to explain the alterations he wanted to the tailor.

_Sanji is so cool_. Yuki thought with stars in his green eyes as he watched Sanji and the tailor begin to discuss his suit.

"I think I understand what you want, young man. Please come with me to select the color ribbon you want me to use for the detailing." Sebastien said as he began to lead Sanji to the backroom.

"Yuki just stay here." Sanji said.

"O-Okay," Yuki agreed and spent his time browsing through the store while Sanji and the tailor worked on his suit together in the backroom. There was a comfy looking leather armchair in the store and Yuki decided to take a seat on it. He was completely exhausted.

Yuki decided that he'd rest his eyes for just a moment. He let his eyes drift close and he was soon fast asleep.

"Hey…oi…Yuki…wake up…" Came a voice.

"Mmm…." Yuki groaned as he began to wake up. He blinked and saw Sanji kneeling in front of him with a wide grin on his face.

"Time to wake up, sleeping beauty, your suit is ready for you." Sanji said.

Yuki blushed at Sanji's closeness, sat up straighter and looked at the cook with wide eyes. "It is? Already…? How long have I been asleep?"

"For two hours."

"Oh man…" Yuki groaned and stood up.

Sanji grabbed his hand and began to drag Yuki towards the dressing room. "The suit is already in there. Now, I don't want you to come out until you're wearing it. And if you refuse…I'll kick your ass." Sanji raised his leg threateningly.

Yuki gulped and trembled. "O-Okay, Sanji-san." Yuki entered the dressing room and pulled the curtain closed behind him. There hanging on a hook was the finished suit.

"Wow…" Yuki reached out to touch it. The suit looked so different from how it had looked before. It consisted of a black suit jacket with a pale green ribbon that had been sewn onto the cuffs of the jacket. The lapels had also been decorated with a swirling design with the same pale green ribbon.

The pale green ribbon was the exact same color as Yuki's eyes. There was a lime green colored, button-down shirt and a pair of short trousers. A large green ribbon for Yuki to tie into a bow around his neck hung from a hook in the changing room, along with a pair of black and white striped knee-high stockings. Running up the sides of the short trousers was a line of the pale green ribbon. The jacket had silver buttons, and a belt with a silver buckle, and black dress shoes completed the outfit.

Yuki put on the suit, pulled up the stockings, tied the bow around his neck and lastly set a mini top hat on his head. The mini top hat was black and had green curls of ribbon cascading down from it. The outfit surprised him by how well it fit him. Sanji was a genius – the tailor too. There was no mirror inside of the dressing room though so Yuki didn't know what he looked like.

Yuki bit down on his lower lip. He was totally nervous, and feeling embarrassed and shy. His pale cheeks were tinged pink. Yuki took a deep breath before opening the curtain and stepping out of the dressing room.

Sanji and Sebastien turned to see Yuki and their eyes widened. "Wow…" Sanji said as he unconsciously made his way forward to kneel before Yuki and took his hand. "You look beautiful mademoiselle." Sanji said as he placed a kiss on Yuki's cheek.

Yuki's cheeks heated up and he pushed Sanji back. "Ah, you can't! You're Zoro's!" Yuki burst out.

The comment seemed to act like a bucket of water being thrown of Sanji's head as he immediately stood straight. "What?! I'm Zoro's?! The hell…I…I just kissed a man….?!" Sanji put his face in his hands. _What the hell is wrong with me? I just kissed a man but…Yuki is just so cute and beautiful but…I totally got swept up in the moment. And what the hell does the kid mean by I'm Zoro's? _Sanji narrowed his eyes at Yuki. "What did you mean by what you just said?"

Yuki squeaked. "N-N-Nothing just…I think you guys would look good together."

Sanji raised an skeptical eyebrow at Yuki. "Really? That's…interesting." Sanji didn't really know how to feel about that. He and Zoro looked good together? Why should he care if he and Zoro would look good together but…the idea left a warm feeling inside of his stomach. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Zoro's cheek like he had Yuki's. Sanji paled. What the hell was wrong with his brain? Sanji shook his head and eyed Yuki's outfit – it was a bit more feminine than he'd originally planned but he and Sebastien had gotten a little carried away with the prospect of dressing Yuki up. "Well, it's missing something, I think." The cook picked up a long piece of black silk ribbon. "Come here."

Yuki approached Sanji with stiff, robotic steps.

"Turn around." Sanji ordered.

Yuki gulped and did as he was told. He turned around. Sanji reached out and combed his fingers through Yuki's soft, amber-colored hair. Yuki trembled and he thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Sanji tied Yuki's hair back into a ponytail with the black silk ribbon and made a bow.

"There." Sanji licked his lips. "Perfect." He took Yuki by the shoulders and led him over to the mirror. "Take a look."

Yuki raised his head and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes widened at what he saw. "Wow…" He barely looked like himself. He looked like a little gentleman - like some rich Victorian kid because of his height but…

He still looked pretty freaking awesome though. A little like Ciel Phantomhive from the anime Black Butler. He didn't even think he could look like this but…the clothes fit him so well, as if they had been specially made for him, which they more or less had been, he supposed.

Sanji noted Yuki's impressed look and his expression turned smug. "You see, I told you. What every man needs is a good suit. One that compliments him best." Sanji paid Sebastien for the suit.

"Ah…I-I'll pay you back…" Yuki started as the blood began to drain from his face. He hated the idea of Sanji spending money on him!

Sanji shook his head. "No, this was my idea to begin with. It's a gift."

"O-Oh…w-wow…thank you, Sanji-san," Yuki stammered. But he still felt bad. He decided he'd talk to Ren later about a way to pay Sanji back for the suit. Maybe Ren could hunt down a wanted pirate and grab the bounty for him. _Ren would make a good bounty hunter._ Yuki mused.

"No problem," Sanji said, "Now we need to concentrate on getting the food and supplies I need." He sighed. "It's a shame I don't have my pack mule with me."

Yuki smiled wistfully. "You mean Zoro?" He asked as he followed Sanji out of the store.

Sanji turned to give Yuki a surprised look. "Yea…Zoro helps me to carry the heavy stuff from time to time."

"That's nice of him," Yuki put in. "I make Ren carry stuff for me too. Sometimes it's difficult for me because of my hand…" Yuki began to explain.

"Yea…I guess…although he usually complains the whole time and we also fight the entire time." Sanji let out a huff. "What happened to your hand?"

"But…you have fun, right?" Yuki asked, "And um…I got hurt." He really didn't want to tell Sanji about how he'd been jumped by some jerks. It was slightly pathetic. The only upside was that Ren had shown up and saved him.

Sanji blinked and thought about it. A soft smile formed on his lips. "Yea…I guess. I guess you're right…we do have fun. I hope you hand feels better. I would die if anything like that were to happen to my hands." A shudder went down Sanji's spine at the though. _My hands are my life. _

Yuki smiled knowingly to himself.

Sanji purchased an actual mule to help carry all of the food and supplies they needed. The cook stocked up on meat, vegetables, and the villagers made a nice selection of jams. A lot of their meat was smoked or cured, which was perfect for pirates at sea, and thankfully there was salt. Sanji had been worried about that the most because salt was used to preserve things.

Without salt meat would go bad more quickly and then the food supplies would run out faster. Sanji shuddered at the thought of his crew running out of food while out on the open ocean. It was his job as the cook to make sure that NEVER happened! Things had gotten more difficult for Sanji with the addition of more crewmates but…he never complained.

Sanji crossed 'salt' off his list and turned to smile at Yuki who was holding the reins of the mule and looking a little bit terrified by the creature. Sanji chuckled – that boy was just too cute. And huggable. It made Sanji want to protect him…which was odd because Sanji usually only had that protective instinct when it came to women. "That's the last thing on the list. That means we can head back to the ship."

Yuki let out a breath of relief. "Phew. G-Great." He was going to feel a whole lot better once Sanji was safe and back on the ship and as far away from Mihawk as possible.

Sanji began to lead the way. However-

"Pssst." Came a female call.

Sanji turned his head to see a beautiful, young gypsy woman with large, luminous brown eyes and long wavy black hair. She was exotic with her tanned skin. The gypsy was wearing a purple head wrap, had gold hoop earrings in her ears and was wearing a low-cut purple dress. She was the least conservatively dressed person that Sanji had seen on the village thus far. On the table before her were a crystal ball and a deck of Tarot cards.

Sanji's eyes turned into two hearts at the sight of the gypsy woman. She crooked her finger at Sanji to come closer and the cook soundlessly obeyed as if an invisible string was leading him.

_Uh oh._ Yuki thought, worriedly.

"Why hello Madam – has anyone ever told you that you shine as brilliantly as the sun?" Sanji began to spout a series of compliments to the gypsy. "My name is Blackleg Sanji." He reached out, took her hand and placed a kiss on it. "And what's your name, beautiful flower?"

"My name is Rosa. Cut these." Rosa motioned for Sanji to cut the Tarot cards and since he couldn't refuse a lady he simply did so.

Rosa began to set the cards out on the table and read them. "I know why you're really here, Blackleg Sanji. You wish to help your swordsman friend."

Sanji stilled at the gypsy's words.

"His pain has been on your mind. You wish to find a way to cure the blindness that is in his one eye." The gypsy continued in her melodious voice.

Sanji gulped, clenched his hands into fists at his sides and nodded. "Y-Yea…but there's nothing I can do." He frowned.

"Oh, but there is," Rosa began, "On the other side of the mountain in the Forbidden Forest there's a magical herb that grows there and which can help cure a person's blindness. The monsters that live in the forest however protect the herb. The herb lies close to the castle. In order to recognize it I will tell you what it looks like. It has silvery green leaves and will be surrounded by a halo of white light."

"The Forbidden Forest?" Sanji mused as he looked at the mountain range in the distance. "I see."

Rosa's eyes narrowed at Sanji. "You plan to go, don't you?" She looked down at the cards. "It won't be easy. You could end up getting hurt pretty badly. And if you go…things between you and the swordsman will change forever. But even knowing this you're going to risk it, aren't you?"

Sanji remained silent as he thought it over.

Rosa's attention flickered over to Yuki next. "Come here, young man."

Yuki approached the table with stiff steps. He didn't like fortunetellers very much. They never told him anything good. Rosa shuffled her cards and set them on the table. "Cut them." Yuki did as he was told.

Rosa began to lay the cards out on the table in front of her; a small frown came to her face. "I see many possible futures available to you. Perhaps, you have been told of one of these paths already? You are in love. And that love is very important to you. That is a difficult path but…only if you let it become one. People like us that have the ability to see the future have a huge responsibility because we can choose what we tell people. If we tell people the wrong thing we can end up affecting their future in a bad way. The future is not a finite thing, Yuki. It is ever changing depending on the decisions you make from day to day. My advice to you would be simply this – hang on to the things that are important to you but don't think that you can't have more."

Yuki chewed on his lower lip. A fortuneteller had once told him and Ren that their relationship would be hell. And he'd just kind of accepted that. But now this gypsy woman was telling him that because he'd accepted it, that'd he'd let that possible future become a reality when maybe he had the power to change the future for the better somehow by making different choices. It was pretty confusing. Yuki wasn't sure if he got it but: _hang on to the things that are important to you but don't think you can't have more._ He would be sure to think about her words. _I never plan on letting Ren go…but maybe we deserve to be happier together. _

"And one more thing, young man." Rosa began as she beckoned Yuki closer. Yuki leaned over to hear Rosa's next words, which were in a whispered voice. "I know that you are not from our world…beware the power of words."

Yuki stood straight and gave Rosa a surprised look. Yuki's attention turned to Sanji and he recognized that determined look on the cook's face. Yuki's eyes became wide and panicky. _Oh man, oh man, oh man! Crap!_ Sanji's going to go to Mihawk's side of the island and try and find that herb for Zoro. _This is so not good. If Sanji encounters Mihawk there's no telling what he'll do. Crap crap crap! _

"Come on, Yuki." Sanji said as he started off.

"Ah, Sanji-san, wait up!" Yuki called as he started off after Sanji. Sanji took Yuki to the main street that led directly to the Sunny that was harbored at the dock.

Sanji spun around to face Yuki. "Look…I have something I need to go do. Just keep walking down this street and you'll get to the Thousand Sunny. You can see it in the distance, right?"

Yuki bit his lower lip, "Ah, but…where are you going? What do you have to go do? I can help you…"

Sanji shook his head, reached out and ruffled Yuki's hair. "Thanks kid, but it'll be safer for you if you just go back to the Sunny. I'll be fine." The cook assured before he started off.

"Ah, Sanji-san! Crap…" Yuki stared after him at a loss of what to do. The mule began to try and eat Yuki's hair.

OOO

Meanwhile, Zoro led Ren down the beach until they were pretty far away from the main harbor. Zoro looked around at the spot – it was a nice, wide-open space on the white sand beach. He turned around and gave Ren a smirk. "This looks like a good spot," Zoro said in his gruff voice before he unsheathed his swords. He put Wado between his teeth and held Shusui and Kitetsu out before him.

Ren looked around the stretch of beach and nodded in agreement. "Yea, this will be a good enough place for me to kick your ass." A cocky smirk formed on Ren's face.

Zoro raised an eyebrow at Ren, surprised by the young man's confidence. "Ha. We'll see about that punk. Draw your swords."

"Just a sec." Ren took off his red shirt and tossed it to the beach revealing his impressively muscular chest and all of his tattoos and scars.

Zoro looked at the dragon tattoo that was on Ren's neck, the snake that was coiled around his hip and the Celtic knot that was on his upper arm. The _kanji_ for warrior was on his right wrist. "Nice tats."

Ren smiled. "Thanks…" His gaze focused on Zoro's chest. "Want to take your jacket off?"

Zoro noticed Ren's heated look and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. If he didn't know any better he'd say Ren was flirting with him. "Er…no need."

"Such a shame." Ren said as he drew his two swords – Ketsueki Bara and Sakura no Hana, and held them out before him. "Maybe I'll just have to cut it off of you." Zoro chose to simply ignore that comment.

Zoro and Ren stood for a moment and just stared at each other while assessing their opponent. This was a silent battle before the real battle would commence. Zoro attacked first – he moved in, swords flashing.

Ren was ready for him. His swords moved lightning fast through the air and blocked Zoro's attacks with elegant movements.

Clash. Block. Strike. Parry.

The sound of ringing steel filled the air. There were so many strikes and blocks that the sound was like one long ring. _Oh, he's good._ Ren thought to himself as he blocked Zoro's attacks. But that was to be expected. _It wouldn't be fun if Zoro weren't a challenge!_ He could tell that Zoro was just feeling him out first. Zoro was still holding back.

But that was okay because Ren was still testing the waters too. Though it was most definitely not his habit to hold back. _It's time to go on the offensive._ Ren thought as he impatiently changed his stance and stabbed his sword through the air at Zoro viciously-

SWISH

Zoro moved his head sideways to avoid the attack and Ren's sword cut a thin line across Zoro's cheek. Ren had been trying to take advantage of Zoro's blind spot but to no avail. Zoro raised his thumb to wipe at the blood and gave Ren an impressed look. "You cut me. Not bad, boy." 

"Thanks, but I'm not a 'boy'," Ren snarled as he charged forward and attacked Zoro ferociously. "I'm a _man_!" Like Zoro, Ren had also trained hard so that his own blindness in one eye would not hinder him in combat. Zoro was more alike to him that he knew.

Zoro was suddenly put on the defensive and was forced to block all of Ren's vicious attacks. _The boy's good._ Zoro thought. _He's faster than that samurai back on Thriller Bark. But he's like I used to be before my training with Mihawk – hotheaded and reckless. He lacks discipline. He lets his emotions rule him too much. Now, I won't hold back. This boy needs to learn humility. He's probably never been beaten before…_

Zoro changed his stance and moved on the offensive once more as he picked up the pace. He blocked Ren's attacks and slipped his swords past Ren's defenses-!

Ren was forced to leap backwards and out of the way unless he wanted to get skewered. _Now he's finally getting serious, the bastard. It's about fucking time._ Ren smiled.

Their sparing was beginning to get intense. "Ahhh!" Ren charged Zoro and attacked.

Zoro dodged, blocked and stabbed. Ren moved sideways but this was hard on the sand and Zoro's sword cut deeply into the side of his upper arm. Ren flinched but didn't make a sound. He had a high threshold for pain. He could take it.

Zoro and Ren's swords flashed through the air and the two swordsmen began to score nicks on the other. So far they appeared evenly matched. But Ren was tiring.

Sanji lit a cigarette and took a long drag, filling his lungs with nicotine smoke, as he made his way down the street and in the direction of the mountain range. He'd already spoken to some of the villagers and discovered there was a pass Sanji could use to get through the mountains and enter the Forbidden Forest.

Sanji didn't really get why he was even doing this but…as soon as Rosa had said that there was a magical herb with the power to cure Zoro's blindness – he knew he wanted to go get it.

He _hated_ seeing Zoro with his one eye closed. Zoro was going to be the World's Greatest Swordsman! He _needed_ the use of both of his eyes! It was like Sanji's body was moving on its own. In no time at all, Sanji had reached the pass that led through the mountains. He took a deep breath before continuing his way. He heard the sound of someone behind him. Sanji turned around and raised his leg, prepared to attack whoever was following him. "Yuki?" The cook's expression mirrored his surprise.

Yuki had a bashful, shy, hesitant expression on his face. "S-S-Sanji-san…"

"What the hell are you doing here, shitty brat?!"

Yuki flinched at Sanji's upraised voice. "I, uh, Chopper spotted me and came to get the supplies. I said I still had to help you with something and so I followed after you." Yuki was slightly breathless from having to chase Sanji through town.

Sanji sighed and rubbed his temples. "_Yuki_…" He said in a stern tone.

"I know that you're planning on finding that magical herb for Zoro…and I want to help you. My lover Ren is also suffering from partial blindness in one eye and I want to get that herb for him too. Please, let me help you." Yuki offered though he was terrified.

Sanji raised an eyebrow at Yuki since the boy was obviously terrified but…he wanted to get the herb for Ren anyways. It didn't make much sense.

"Why do you want to get the herb for Ren?" Sanji asked curiously.

Yuki blinked. "Why? Because I love him and I want to help him…"

Sanji bushed. "B-Because you _love_ him?"

_Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump._

Sanji's heart began to thud loudly in his chest. _Is this why I'm doing this for Zoro? Because I love him? Do I love Zoro? It's weird but I can understand Yuki's feelings for Ren. _Sanji shook his head. Now was not the time to think about that. "I see…okay, you can come. But just don't get in my way. If the monsters come…I want you to hide. I'll take care of them okay, princess?" Sanji insisted.

Yuki nodded, "Roger, Sanji-san."

Sanji and Yuki made their way into the Forbidden Forest. It had huge skeletal trees and a thick mist seemed to be crawling across the ground. As soon as Sanji and Yuki fully entered the forest it got a lot darker and colder despite the fact that it was still during the middle of the day. Yuki shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. This forest was spooky and scary. "Uh, Sanji-san…do you know where the magical herb is supposed to be?"

"Rosa only said it was close to the castle of the Vampire Lord so we just need to keep heading north. Once we get close to the herb the 'monsters' or 'guardians of the herb' will attack us. Then we can get one of the creatures to take us to the herb."

Yuki paled, "So we're just wandering around the forest and waiting for the monsters to attack us? That's your plan?"

"Yea, that sounds about right," Sanji agreed.

Yuki felt faint and swayed on his feet. _Ren._ He really wished his knight in shinning armor was there…but he looked at Sanji's back. He knew that Sanji would do his best to protect him too. And then-

"_Ooop ooop ooop!_" A strange, whooping animal call echoed through the forest all around Sanji and Yuki. The duo could feel that they were being surrounded. "What the hell was that?" Sanji muttered to himself as he tried to place what kind of creature sounded like that.

Yuki began to tremble. "It's the C-Copy Monkeys…"

Sanji gave Yuki a sharp look, "What?" However-

The Copy Monkeys began to emerge from the trees and surrounded them. "Get behind me." Sanji said in a low voice as he looked at the strange creatures. They looked like monkeys but were huge – at least two hundred pounds. Sanji supposed they were like a cross between a monkey and a gorilla. They were standing on two feet like a human, were dressed in armor, and were wielding various weapons: swords, axes, daggers and even pistols.

The Copy Monkeys began to close in. "Shit…Yuki go hide. I'll take care of these shitty monkeys!"

"R-Right." Yuki squeaked as he ran off to hide behind a large tree. He peeked his head out though so he could watch Sanji's fight – it was sure to be awesome. _I put my beli on Sanji. _

The Copy Monkeys attacked. Swords flashed through the air and Sanji moved. The cook used his legs to kick blades away from him and to block deadly attacks. He dodged a dagger that was thrown at his head. _These monkeys fight just like humans!_ Sanji mused to himself. Sanji side-kicked one monkey and sent him flying into a tree. _But…just normal humans…these guys don't even use haki. Heh. _

Sanji waited until the monkeys were almost upon him before flipping onto his hands and spinning his legs through the air. "Party Table Kick Course!" Sanji yelled as he spun on his hands and sent his feet flying into the jaws of the monkeys. The monkeys were all blasted back with angry animalistic cries. "Ooop! Ooop! Ooop!"

Yuki flinched, having sympathy pains for the poor monkeys. It wasn't long before the fight had become very one-sided and Sanji was kicking the monkeys' butt. However, at one point a monkey tried to sneak up on Sanji from behind and Yuki realized that Sanji wasn't going to realize this in time.

"S-Sanji! Look out!" Yuki said as he grabbed the closest thing next to him which was a tree branch, snuck up behind the monkey and hit it over the head.

The monkey fell to the ground with a thud. Sanji spun around and raised his leg to attack. When he saw Yuki standing behind him with a raised tree branch and the fallen Copy Monkey he blinked back at the youth in surprise. "Uh, thanks."

Yuki dropped the branch, his wrist was throbbing in pain. "N-No problem…"

After a few more minutes, Sanji had disarmed the rest of the monkeys and they began to flee from Sanji into the woods. "_Yosh._ Perfect." Sanji ran over to Yuki and grabbed his wrist, "Come on, we're going after them! They'll probably take us right to the magical herb!" Sanji declared before running off after the fleeing monkeys.

"Ah, Sanji," Yuki objected as he was dragged along. _Ow._ _My wrist hurts. I'll have to get Ren to look at it for me later. _

Sanji and Yuki pursued the Copy Monkeys until they reached a clearing where they spotted the ruins of an old church. They approached the ruins. The church no longer had a roof and just some broken beams remained. At the far end of the church on the ground was a small green plant with silvery green leaves and a halo of white light around it.

"Look! Over there! That must be the magical herb. We found it!" Sanji exclaimed as he started forward and into the church. However-

From the broken rafter of the church an enormous monkey that was really the size of a gorilla suddenly landed in front of Sanji with an enormous thud.

Sanji looked at the Copy Monkey before him – he was at least 300 pounds. But that wasn't the most unusual thing about him. The monkey was dressed in a long green coat and was wielding three swords. One long _katana_ was held between his teeth and he was holding a _katana_ – one in each of his hands. The monkey's fur was a coal-black color and his eyes were glowing red.

"What the fuck…who does this monkey think he is? Zoro?" Sanji muttered darkly to himself.

"It-It does!" Yuki stammered. "D-Don't let your guard down, Sanji! That monkey will fight just as good as Zoro!" He warned.

"Yuki – hide." Sanji ordered as he got into a fighting stance.

"R-Right…" Yuki agreed as he rushed over to hide behind a broken down pew.

Sanji and the Copy Monkey charged towards each other and engaged in combat. Sanji's feet moved through the air and blocked the monkey's sword slashes. Sanji flipped onto his hands and spun his legs at the monkey's head. The monkey was able to block the attack with his swords.

Sanji side-kicked the monkey who crossed his swords in front of him to block the attack. The monkey skidded backwards across the ground. Sanji moved in to attack again. The monkey roared in outrage and swung his sword at Sanji with lightning speed – an unusually fast speed.

Sanji ducked and some of his hair was cut off! _Fuck!_ _This monkey really is as good as Zoro. Just like the kid said. He can even use haki. I'm going to have to kick things up a notch before he does-! _

Sanji spun on his leg and set it on fire. "Diable Jambe!" He attacked the Copy Monkey again. The Copy Monkey raised his sword to block Sanji's attack – Sanji's flaming foot hit the crossed swords and shattered them!

Sanji's foot continued forward and hit the monkey's chest sending him flying back across the church and to hit the back wall. "Ooo!" The monkey cried out in pain and slid down the wall unconscious.

The Copy Monkey had been good but – Zoro's swords were far superior to the pathetic blades the Copy Monkey wielded. "The original is always better than the copy, shitty monkey." Sanji said as he fished out a cigarette, lit it and inhaled smoke into his lungs.

Sanji approached the magical herb with a smirk on his face. He reached his hand out to pick the herb. However-

An aura of murderous intent had Sanji's ducking-! "Sanji! Look out behind you!" Yuki called out.

Sanji crouched down and felt an enormous blade swish over his head. _Fuck._ Sanji rolled and turned around to face his new opponent.

Sanji's expression shifted to surprise. There standing before him was none other than-! "Dracul Mihawk…" Sanji breathed. Mihawk was really standing in front of him. The World's Greatest Swordsman was just as intimidating, impressive, and devilishly handsome as Sanji remembered him from the Baratie. _Wait a second, devilishly handsome?_ Sanji shook his head at his thoughts.

Dracul Mihawk was wearing a long black jacket, was shirtless to show off his pale muscular chest, and wearing a pair of boots with cuffs. His golden eyes were shinning and there was a predatory smile on his lips.

Sanji quickly pulled himself together. "Ah, Mihawk, so you're this 'Vampire Lord' all the villagers were talking about. I didn't know you like to suck blood – just spill it." Sanji lit up a new cigarette and took a drag from it as he eyed Mihawk's gigantic sword that he was now resting along the back of his shoulders.

Mihawk shrugged. "They're the ones who started that rumor. I have never bothered to correct it. Speaking of rumors…there are some very interesting rumors going around about you and Roronoa Zoro."

Sanji raised an eyebrow at Mihawk. "Such as?" Sanji was trying to keep his cool. Mihawk was right there in front of him – the man who had caused Zoro's blindness in his one eye! He wanted to kick Mihawk's ass so bad.

"I have heard that you and Roronoa Zoro are lovers." Mihawk declared.

Sanji's face slowly began to turn red. "L-L-Lovers?! With Zoro?! What the hell?"

_Lovers? _Yuki wondered. _Rumors?_ Ren had told Yuki all about how he'd lied about how there were 'rumors' about Zoro and Sanji being lovers in order to see Zoro's reaction. _Rosa warned me about 'the power of words' since we're not a part of this world. Did Ren make those rumors a reality? We also talked about Sanji and Mihawk fighting and now suddenly they're here face-to-face._ _Crap crap crap!_

Mihawk's eyes roved blatantly over Sanji's body from head-to-toe, appraising him. "Hmm…I could see why Roronoa Zoro would want to bend you over and fuck you." Mihawk drawled, lust shinning in his eyes.

Sanji's temper snapped. "You bastard!" He attacked Mihawk with a flurry of kicks.

At first Mihawk just lithely dodged the kicks. But as Sanji's kicks came faster and faster Mihawk was forced to take down his sword to block the attacks.

As Yuki watched the ensuing fight, he couldn't help but think it was totally intense. He was sort of surprised to see Sanji holding his own against Mihawk and he even appeared to be pushing him back. Maybe – just maybe Sanji had a chance of defeating Mihawk after all?! Maybe he and Ren had been worried for nothing.

Sanji spun on his one leg and set it on fire. "Diable Jambe!" Sanji attacked Mihawk and Mihawk raised his sword to block the attack. Mihawk's sword began to glow red from the flames of Sanji's attack. Mihawk was being pushed back, until-

"Impressive Blackleg Sanji," Mihawk complimented with a nod. "But not impressive enough." He drawled before he summoned his _haki_ – a blue-tinged aura began to flare around Mihawk and this same blue aura enveloped Mihawk's sword and protected it from Sanji's attack. The flames of Sanji's attack were suddenly extinguished.

Yuki had a bad feeling about what was going to happen next. The hair on the back of his neck prickled in warning and the aura of bloodlust that surrounded Mihawk had suddenly increased so much so that Yuki was trembling from the force of it on his knees.

Mihawk pushed his sword back against Blackleg Sanji's leg and unleashed a burst of _haki_ at the same time. Sanji's leg was bent oddly and the cook was sent flying backwards through the air where he hit the ruined back wall of the church. Sanji grunted in pain as his back hit the wall and he slid down it. He grasped his leg and bit his lower lip as he tried not to scream in pain. _Shit! That bastard broke my leg! Fuck! _Sanji realized he'd totally underestimated Mihawk.

Sanji collapsed to the ground gripping his leg in pain. Mihawk stalked over towards Sanji and stuck his gigantic sword into the ground. He walked over to Sanji, crouched down and wrapped his hand around Sanji's neck. Mihawk raised Sanji up off the ground and slammed him against the back wall. Sanji glared back at Mihawk unable to do anything through the excruciating pain of his broken leg.

And then – Mihawk leaned forward and captured Sanji's lips with his own.

Sanji's eyes widened in surprise and he gasped.

Mihawk swiped his tongue into Sanji's mouth for a moment before pulling back. Mihawk licked his lips. "Your blood tastes delicious Sanji. Maybe I am a vampire after all."

Sanji's expression turned fearful. _This guy is a lunatic._

Mihawk was looking at him with eyes full of desire.

_Oh my God! Oh no! Sanji! This is all our fault! _Yuki began to panic._ I have to go get Ren! Ren where the hell are you?! And Zoro!_ _I have to find them! They have to save Sanji! _Yuki gathered his strength of will to stand and took off running and stumbling out of the church. He tripped at one point and skinned his knee slightly but Yuki kept on running anyways.

Mihawk was about to turn around to see who had been there but Sanji used his other leg to kick Mihawk weakly in the shin. "Oi…" Sanji said. "Bastard. Who said you could kiss me?"

Mihawk smirked before he reached out and ripped the front of Sanji's jacket open. He then began to unbutton the buttons of Sanji's shirt one by one. "Shut up…you're nothing but a spoil of war. Let's see if Roronoa Zoro will come to his lover's rescue in time…" Mihawk said before he leaned over and kissed Sanji again.

TBC…!


	3. Chapter 3

Tactless Tactics

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

Part III

Zoro and Ren stood a few feet away from each other panting for breath. Both men had worked up a sweat and Zoro had taken his green jacket off and flung it aside. Ren let his eyes rove over Zoro's tan muscular chest and he licked his lips. Zoro was a handsome man. Sure, he was in love with Yuki but…it wasn't like he couldn't appreciate a beautiful person when he saw one. A mischievous smile curled his lips.

Zoro noticed Ren's intense stare and frowned. "Don't get any ideas…I'm not like you."

Ren chuckled. "Oh yea? I think you are…but maybe just for Sanji." He prodded.

"Argh!" Zoro charged forward and attacked Ren.

"Hooryah!" Ren moved in to attack Zoro at the same time. Their swords clashed and they passed each other dramatically. They spun to face each other once more and both swordsmen came to the realization that they were missing a sword. Ren couldn't believe it - the only person to ever disarm him was his twin brother, Akira.

Zoro's eyes widened in surprise. Shusui had been taken from his hand! Zoro quickly reached up and took Wado out of his mouth.

Ren's sword Ketsueki Bara had been taken out of his one hand and now he only had his sword Sakura no Hana.

Zoro gave Ren a nod of acknowledgement. "No one has ever managed to disarm me before."

Ren's shit-eating grin widened. "Wait till I beat your sorry ass into the ground." _Zoro would look nice all sprawled out on the ground and at my mercy. _

Zoro's eyes narrowed dangerously as if he could read Ren's thoughts, "Let's finish this, punk."

"Yea." Ren agreed.

The two young men charged each other, swords raised. However-

"Wait! Stop!" Came Yuki's voice.

Zoro and Ren stopped their swords mere inches from each other's throats – both swordsmen were smiling. "Tie?" Zoro asked.

Ren nodded. "Yea. For now."

Both swordsmen lowered their swords and turned to face the frantic, wide-eyed Yuki.

Ren's expression immediately shifted to concern when he noted the obvious distress on his lover's face. "Yuki, what's wrong?" Ren's blood was already boiling –if _someone_ had touched or hurt his Yuki in any way he'd kick their ass. Ren also couldn't help but notice the new clothes that Yuki was wearing. He grit his teeth wondering who the hell had dared to dress up his Yuki without his permission.

Yuki bent over and put his hands on his thighs as he panted for breath. He was too out of shape for all this running around. "It's Sanji! He's in trouble! He went to Mihawk's side of the island and encountered Mihawk in the ruins of an old church, and they started to fight and…Sanji's in trouble!"

Ren and Zoro both shared a look and a nod. The two swordsmen retrieved their fallen swords and returned their swords to their sheaths.

"Let's go!" Zoro said.

"Show us the way, Yuki." Ren said.

"It's this way-" Yuki turned but then stumbled forward in a near faint. This was all just too much for Yuki to handle. Ren appeared at Yuki's side almost instantly and caught Yuki before he could fall.

Yuki turned to look at Ren with his wide green eyes. "Ren…"

"You really are such a delicate little princess, Yuki. Here." Ren moved to kneel in front of Yuki putting his back to the smaller young man. "Get on."

Yuki blushed and looked over at Zoro. This was so embarrassing. He sighed but he really didn't have a choice. Yuki got on Ren's back and wrapped his arms around Ren's neck. Ren wrapped his arms around Yuki's legs and hoisted him up. "Let's roll." Ren said as he took off down the beach.

"That way!" Yuki pointed ahead of him.

With Ren giving Yuki a piggyback ride, and Zoro following close behind, they made their way through the spooky village and towards the mountain pass. Ren ran his hands over the silk of the short trousers that Yuki was wearing. "Mmm…" The material felt nice, but he was still probably going to murder the person who bought these clothes for Yuki. "So who bought you those clothes, Yuki?"

"Ah, Sanji-san." Yuki admitted with a blush on his face as he remembered Sanji's kiss on his cheek.

Ren frowned and jealousy reared its ugly head inside of him. No one had permission to dress _his_ Yuki up but him…and Sanji had even dared to put _his_ princess in something somewhat manly like a suit! Manly clothes didn't suit his Yuki – feminine clothes did. He was _so_ going to kick Sanji's ass for this later. "That guy has some nerve dressing up _my_ Yuki." He muttered darkly to himself. "And what's with the suit?" Ren spoke in a louder voice.

Yuki chewed on his lower lip nervously. "You don't like it?"

Ren thought about it for a moment. It wasn't really what he was used to seeing Yuki in but…Yuki did look attractive in it. Heck, his lover would probably look good in an old potato sack. And the pale green stockings and mini top with the bow had been a nice touch. It added just the right amount of femininity to the suit where it complimented him nicely.

"I _want_ to hate it but…I like it, doll. Although what I really want to do is just rip that suit off and take you right here on this forest floor-" Ren declared as they passed through the forest on Mihawk's side of the island.

Yuki reddened. "_Ren_." He used a warning tone. He glanced nervously in Zoro's direction and saw that there was a pink tinge to Zoro's tanned cheeks.

"But I think I still like dressing you up in girl's clothes best. That angry little pout that you get any time I do dress you up is fucking sexy. It gets me rock hard. All the blood in my body goes straight to my cock. I don't know if you realize the effect it has on me, princess." Ren explained in a husky voice.

Yuki didn't think his face could get any redder. "But since you dress me up like a girl all the time…wouldn't it be better if I _were_ a girl?" Yuki muttered.

"Hell no." Ren burst out fiercely, "Where would the fun in that be? If you were a girl you'd probably like dressing up in frilly little dresses and then when would I get to see that sexy look I love so much?"

"So…all this time I got you because you have a cross-dressing fetish?" Yuki asked curiously.

Ren blushed. "Fuck yea I have a fetish. But you want to know what else?"

"What?"

Ren turned his head to whisper in Yuki's ear. "You're also my fetish."

"Pervert." Zoro said but he was smiling slightly. Ren and Yuki were a very interesting couple to watch interact with each other. And it was giving him strange ideas about him and Sanji.

They caught sight of the ruins of the church in the distance. However – several Copy Monkeys suddenly appeared between them and the church. The monkeys raised their various weapons – swords, pistols, and daggers at the intruders.

"Yuki. Get off my back." Ren said in a low voice as he bent down so Yuki could get off of him.

"Y-Yes." Yuki said as he obediently got off of Ren's back.

Ren unsheathed his two swords and held them out before him. He wanted to go help save Sanji but he knew that he couldn't leave Yuki alone. "Zoro – I'll handle these guys. Go and save Sanji!"

Zoro shot Ren a surprised, grateful look. "Thanks man, I owe you one."

"Yuki. Hide." Ren ordered.

"O-O-Okay." Yuki stammered as he nervously looked around and spotted a thick hedge bush that would be perfect to hide behind.

Yuki ran over to the hedge bush, crouched down and hid behind it. It was the perfect spot to watch Ren's ensuing battle from. _Go Ren!_ Yuki inwardly cheered his lover on.

Zoro unsheathed his three swords. He put Wado between his teeth and held Shusui and Kitetsu in his two hands. Zoro and Ren charged the Copy Monkeys. Suddenly Ren moved in front of Zoro and attacked the monkeys to clear a path for Zoro. Ren slashed his swords through the air and two copy monkeys were sent flying. "Ooopp! Opppp! Oooop!"

"Thanks." Zoro murmured as he ran through the opening Ren had created and made his way into the ruins of the church. Zoro stalked down the aisle and looked ahead of him. Sanji was lying on the floor on the altar and Mihawk was straddling Sanji. The cook was shirtless and Mihawk had one hand tightly gripped around Sanji's throat as he kissed him.

A series of conflicting emotions crossed Zoro's face – shock, surprise, anger. What the fuck was going on. Sanji was struggling weakly beneath Mihawk, but Mihawk had Sanji's hands pinned over his head with his free hand.

Mihawk pulled back and licked his lips as he stared down at Sanji, golden eyes blazing with lust. "I'm getting a little bored of just kissing and your lover still hasn't shown up yet." Mihawk removed his hand from Sanji's throat and the cook began to cough and gasp for breath. "I think we should take things to the next level…" Mihawk began to run his hand down over Sanji's body until he came to the waistband of Sanji's pants.

"N-No…!" Sanji gasped out, his eyes wide with fear. "Zoro…!" Mihawk undid the top button of Sanji's pants.

"MIHAWK!" Zoro roared.

Sanji and Mihawk turned to see Zoro, who was trembling with rage. A murderous aura was blazing around him as the boiled in his veins. Zoro could hear his heartbeat thudding loudly in his ears. His dark eyes were narrowed in this fierce, feral look.

Sanji's fearful expression shifted to surprise. He'd never seen Zoro look so angry or scary before. Zoro was almost unrecognizable – he looked like some kind of a ferocious beast.

Mihawk gazed at Zoro thoughtfully before he stood up and got off of Sanji. He walked over to his sword and pulled it out of the stone floor. He too had never seen Zoro look quite like that before. He couldn't let his guard down or underestimate the swordsman. "Ah, Roronoa Zoro. Took you long enough to get here. Your lover has been keeping me company. I can see why you like him, Zoro. His lips taste like strawberries. Mmm. It's a shame you came so early. I could have found out what the rest of him tastes like."

"Argh! Mihawk! I'm going to kill you! How dare you touch Sanji?! No one is allowed to touch him – ever!" Zoro snarled as he charged down the aisle to attack Mihawk. _Except for me. _He thought.

Mihawk stood in front of Sanji, raised his sword, and prepared to meet Zoro's attack. Zoro leapt up into the air and brought his swords down upon Mihawk. Mihawk blocked the attack and it felt like an invisible energy wave spread out from the two clashing warriors.

It was a battle between their _haki_ – their battle auras – pews were toppled over, glass that was still inside of the church's broken windows shattered, and Sanji was sent rolling across the floor until he hit the back wall of the church.

"ARGHHH!" Zoro cried as he pressed his swords more fiercely against Mihawk's.

Mihawk looked up at Zoro coolly. "This won't be enough to beat me, you know. Not when I decide to get serious." Mihawk drawled before he moved – and was suddenly behind Zoro!

"Fuck!" Zoro spun around and barely managed to bring up his swords in time to block Mihawk's swift attack. Zoro didn't even see him move.

"Good." Mihawk said mockingly as his attack was blocked. "I thought I had you for a second there, Zoro. How about this?" Mihawk unleashed a series of fierce attacks Zoro's way. Zoro had to use all of his concentration and instincts just to block the attacks. They were just so fast.

This was Dracul Mihawk.

He was on a whole different level from the Copy Monkey that fought like Mihawk and that Zoro had finally managed to defeat after his two long years of training on the island.

Sanji pushed himself up off the ground so he could sit with his back against the wall. His broken leg still hurt too much for him to try and stand. But he wanted to watch the battle against Zoro and Mihawk. He just couldn't miss something like this. His eyes widened when he saw them fighting. Their swords were just a blur – Sanji could barely keep up with their movements they were moving so fast but-

Zoro was still obviously on the defensive. Sanji's stomach twisted itself into knots at the single thought of: _What if Mihawk defeats Zoro and really kills him this time?_ Sanji's heart clenched in pain.

Sanji put a hand over his heart in surprise. _I think…I think I'm in love with the Marimo._

OOO

Meanwhile, outside of the church…Ren was facing off a hoard of at least twenty Copy Monkeys. They had formed a circle around Ren and leapt at him in groups of three or four. So far Ren had managed to counter their every attack and dish out some hell of his own. Already five dead Copy Monkeys lay at his feet. The monkeys were getting pissed.

Yuki watched his lover face off against the Copy Monkeys – Ren was moving so fast as he engaged the monkeys he reminded Yuki of superman because he seemed to be in one place one minute and then another place the next.

Somehow Ren was able to keep all of the Copy Monkeys at bay. Ren bent backwards and swung his swords out in a full circle. It was a very sexy move. It kind of looked like Ren was about to do the limbo or something – they way his body was almost bent completely in half like that!

Ren's attacks sent several more monkeys flying with their: "Oooop! Oooop! Oooop!"

However, a hand suddenly came over Yuki's mouth and muffled his ensuing scream.

OOO

Ren's swords were covered in blood. Blood was dripping from Ren's swords' blades onto the ground, and he wore a feral smile on his face. These monkeys were no match for him. In just a few more minutes he'd have them all exterminated. Ren took a deep breath and prepared to attack again. However-

Sniff. Sniff.

Ren smelled blood. Yuki's blood.

"Yuki…!" Ren turned his head in the direction the smell was coming from and saw that one of the Copy Monkeys – a large more gorilla like one – had captured Yuki and was carrying him off! What the fuck?! "The hell?! Oh no you don't! Yuki's mine!" Ren growled as he ran after the fleeing Copy Gorilla.

A few Copy Monkeys tried to stand in Ren's way but Ren's swords moved through the air lightning fast and dispatched the Copy Monkeys with ease.

"Ooop! Ooooop!" They cried out in pain and horror as Ren's swords sliced through their own pathetic weapons and deeply into their flesh.

Ren charged through the forest, heedless of his surrounding. He cut a haphazard path through the forest with his swords and branches cut Ren's face as he ran past, but he barely noticed.

He entered a clearing where the Copy Gorilla had stopped and turned to face Ren. The Copy Gorilla had Yuki in its arms - one hand was wrapped around Yuki's throat and the Gorilla's other hand was on Yuki's stomach. The Gorilla's eyes had turned into two hearts. "Oooop! Oooop! Ooo! Oooo!" The Gorilla declared as it licked the side of Yuki's face with its large tongue.

Yuki shuddered at the sickening sensation and trembled in fear. He couldn't find his voice to cry out…the words were lodged in his throat. He looked at Ren and thought: _Ren save me!_

Ren nodded. He had heard Yuki's cry for help loud and clear. Yuki didn't need to speak for Ren to know what he was thinking – Ren just knew. Ren understood Yuki the best. In fact, he figured he was probably the only one that truly understood Yuki.

The Gorilla trailed its hand over Yuki's stomach, down even lower, and began to fondle Yuki's crotch.

"Ah….!" Yuki gasped out, and his cheeks turned pink. He hated it how his body was reacting to this monster's touch. Tears sprung to Yuki's eyes. "P-Please s-stop…"

Ren growled low in his throat. "I was thinking of letting you live but…now you're _dead_!" Ren roared and charged the Copy Gorilla, swords raised.

The Copy Gorilla was forced to toss Yuki aside and take down a large four-foot long sword that had been strapped to his back. The sword was almost a foot wide.

"Ah!" Yuki squeaked as he hit the ground.

Ren slashed his swords at the Copy Gorilla and the gorilla raised his enormous sword to block the attack. The force of Ren's attack had the gorilla skidding backwards across the ground. The gorilla moved to attack, but Ren was already moving on the offensive and slashing his swords at the gorilla again and again. "Ahhh!" Ren cried out in a rage.

All the gorilla could do was block Ren's fierce attacks as he was being pushed back until-

The gorilla's back hit a tree.

And then the strangest thing happened, a fierce aura began to flare up around Ren and his swords began to glow with energy.

Yuki's eyes widened as he realized what was happening, his Ren was using _haki_. Ren slashed his swords at the gorilla and this time cut right through the gorilla's sword. Pieces of broken steel flew through the air and one piece cut deeply into Ren's cheek, but he didn't even flinch. Didn't even blink. He just kept on attacking. The gorilla backed up and his back hit the trunk of a tree. The gorilla looked at Ren with wide eyes and put his hands up in a surrendering gesture.

"DIE!" Ren roared as he swung both of his swords – horizontally and beheaded the Gorilla with one fast gruesome merciless motion. Blood spattered onto Ren's face and bare chest.

Yuki covered his eyes at the sight, and his body was still trembling in fear and horror.

"No one touches Yuki and gets away with it." Ren said in a soft, deadly tone as he addressed the severed gorilla head. Ren moved his swords through the air to remove the blood from their blades before he sheathed his two swords.

Ren made his way over to Yuki and crouched before him. He removed his lover's hands from his eyes. "Yuki look at me."

Yuki opened his eyes obediently and stared into Ren's green-blue eyes. He swallowed. They were shinning with hunger.

"Only ever look at me." Ren growled possessively.

Yuki nodded. Ren looked Yuki overly protectively for any signs of injuries. "Are you hurt?" He noticed that Yuki had skinned his knee and the small wound was bleeding.

"J-J-Just my knee and my wrist. I-I-I bent it the wrong way when I attacked a Copy Monkey. A-A-And just now that monkey scratched my face." Yuki explained.

Ren reached out, grabbed Yuki's chin and pressed his lips aggressively against his lover's.

As Ren began to kiss him, Yuki's trembling ceased and all thoughts were blown right out of his mind. He loved Ren's ability to do that to him. He didn't want to think about _anything_. He just wanted to feel Ren…inside of him.

Yuki reached out and wrapped his arms around Ren's neck to bring him closer. Ren groaned in approval as he deepened their kiss by thrusting his tongue in Yuki's mouth. Yuki was beginning to feel lightheaded so it barely registered that Ren had pushed him to the ground and straddled him.

Yuki looked up at his lover dazedly and licked his lips.

Ren leaned over and licked Yuki's cheek. Yuki's eyes widened and he blushed. "R-R-Ren?! What are you doing?"

"I'm disinfecting you from where that Copy Gorilla touched you…I'll erase his touch with my touches, Yuki." Ren rumbled as he licked both of Yuki's cheeks.

Yuki shivered at his touch. The Copy Gorilla's touch had been so disgusting but…Ren's touch felt _right_. It made him feel good and warm inside. Happy.

The feeling of Ren's hot tongue licking him also aroused the hell out of him. "Ren…he touched me…down there too…" Yuki gasped with a playful glint in his eyes.

"Oh did he?" Ren said, playing along, as he slid his hand down and began to fondle Yuki though his short trousers. "I'll have to disinfect you thoroughly then." Ren licked his lips suggestively.

"P-Please…I want you, Ren." Yuki begged. He looked up at Ren, fluttered his green eyes at him and spread his legs. "I need you."

Ren growled low in his throat at the wanton sight Yuki was making and undid Yuki's pants. He pulled Yuki's short trousers and boxers down in one go. Everything that happened after that was a pleasurable blur to Yuki. He remembered Ren licking his entire body to disinfect him and erase the Gorilla's touch. Then he made love to Yuki and claimed him.

OOO

Meanwhile, back at the church ruins…Mihawk swung his sword at Zoro and imbued the attack with _haki_. Zoro raised his swords to block the attack. The attack hit and Zoro was sent flying backwards. Zoro crashed into one of the pews, which shattered upon impact.

"Ugh…" Zoro groaned as he tried to stay conscious and push himself up. That had been one hell of an attack. His entire body was still tingling.

"Zoro!" Sanji called out concernedly. The cook began to use the wall so he could stand. "Mihawk!" Sanji called and Mihawk's attention turned to the cook. "Don't hurt him…I'll…I'll do anything you want!"

Mihawk smiled viciously. "Anything?" He licked his lips and looked Sanji over from head to toe.

Sanji nodded. "Yes, please, just don't kill him."

"_Cook_." Zoro growled. Did Sanji really have so little faith in him! _Shit…_

Mihawk approached Sanji and stood in front of him. He reached out, cupped Sanji's cheek and kissed him. Sanji shut his eyes tight as Mihawk kissed him - it was revolting. He clenched his hands into fists, but if this could save Zoro he could put up with it.

Mihawk pulled back and gave Sanji a knowing look. "You know what would be even more fun? I could take you right here in front of Zoro – and then kill him." Mihawk made sure to raise his voice so that Zoro would be able to hear what he was saying.

Sanji's eyes widened. "You bastard." Sanji reached behind him and found two handholds. He then swung his good leg at Mihawk and his foot collided with the side of Mihawk's face. Since Mihawk had been completely caught off guard – he was sent flying sideways. He crashed into a pew, which broke in half.

Sanji collapsed to the ground and gripped his leg in pain. "Hyahh…ah…! I-I won't let you kill Zoro…over my dead body…!" The cook began to crawl in Mihawk's direction.

_Cook._ Zoro suddenly found the strength to stand. He turned to look at the cook who was crawling across the floor towards Mihawk and saw the tears that were streaming down his face. Zoro's eyes widened. The cook was trying to protect him again – just like he'd done back at Thriller Bark, but _why?_ Why had the cook protected him then and why now?

"To Zoro…I…I…!" Sanji tried to say.

The look of sheer sadness that was on Sanji's face – Zoro _never_ wanted to see that kind of look on Sanji's face ever again. He only wanted to see the cook _smiling_. The cook was really beautiful when he smiled.

_I need to be faster. I must defeat Mihawk. I have to protect Sanji. I need to win this battle. There is no other option. If I can't be fast enough today…there's no point in anything I've been doing. It has to be now. Today. This is it. I have to win. I must win. I will win. Losing is not an option! _Zoro took a deep breath and tightened the grip on his swords. He called upon his former self 'Pirate Hunter Zoro' – the cruel, cold, murderer he'd been before he'd met Johnny and Yosaku, and then Luffy.

He closed his eyes and became The Hunter. The Hunter was Zoro's pure animal instincts. His most base, pure, simple self – who his subconscious was.

Zoro growled low in his throat as he became The Hunter. The Hunter didn't like it that Mihawk had touched what belonged to him. Zoro opened his eyes and they were glowing. "Sanji is mine, Mihawk. So hands off." Zoro said lowly as he attacked. _The cook belongs to me! _

Mihawk rolled and avoided the attack, but just barely. He leapt to his feet and was forced to block yet another oncoming attack.

CLASH.

And then the true battle really began. Mihawk's eyes were glowing too with _haki_ and the swordsmen began to engage in mortal combat. Their swords moved swiftly through the air – steel clashed against steel, and sparks were sent up into the air. Mihawk tried to sneak up behind Zoro using his speed, but Zoro turned around and blocked the attack easily. Mihawk's eyes widened in surprise. Zoro was keeping up with him. And he was no longer holding back.

Mihawk attacked again and again, but each time Zoro was there to meet him. He could no longer get past Zoro's defenses. This was it. Mihawk smiled. "Good, very good…but you'll still never beat me, Roronoa Zoro! The only one that can beat me is myself!"

"We'll see about that, Mihawk." Zoro growled back.

The two swordsmen leapt away from each other to put some distance between them before they summoned their _haki_, which flared up around them. They charged each other:

"Mihawk!"

"Roronoa!"

"Ahhhh!" They both cried as the two swordsman attacked. Their swords clashed and they passed each other.

Zoro turned around to face Mihawk and Mihawk did the same. Mihawk held up his sword, however-

Mihawk's sword suddenly shattered into several pieces. Mihawk's eyes widened in shock. "Impossible…he beat me? Roronoa…beat me?"

Zoro grinned ferally, evilly, as he approached Mihawk with purposeful steps. Mihawk looked up at the ferocious man before him. "I see…you've beaten me Roronoa. You've won." Mihawk threw his arms out at his sides. "Kill me! Kill me and become the World's Greatest Swordsman!"

Zoro approached Mihawk and slashed his swords through the air in an X-shape. An X-shaped wound formed on Mihawk's chest as blood spattered through the air, and he fell backwards to the floor where he lay unmoving.

Zoro ignored Mihawk as he made his way over to Sanji. He crouched at Sanji's side, his eyes still glowing. He looked Sanji over concernedly, "Oi, are you okay, cook?"

Sanji looked back at Zoro in astonishment. "I…I…who cares about that! You won Marimo. You just beat Dracul Mihawk in a duel! You're the World's Greatest Swordsman now! Your dream! You've accomplished your dream! I knew you could do it!" Sanji's blue eyes were shinning with admiration.

Zoro hit Sanji over the head but not very hard.

"Ow…what the hell-" Sanji objected.

"Oh, did you cook? Could have fooled me. Why were you offering yourself to Mihawk so that he wouldn't kill me if you believed I would win, hah?" Zoro growled in the cook's face.

Sanji reddened. "Ah…that was…I just…I didn't think you were ready to face Mihawk yet. But I knew that one day you would be ready and that you would win. It's my fault you had to face him so soon…and I…I didn't want to see you looking like that again Zoro because…I think…I love you." Sanji admitted. "But you proved me wrong and you won, Zoro. You were ready."

Zoro's jaw dropped as he gazed back at the cook. "You love me?"

Sanji nodded. And held his breath waiting for Zoro's response.

"Huh. I see. Well, let's get the hell out of here. We have to find Ren and Yuki and make sure they're okay." Zoro said as he helped Sanji to stand.

Sanji allowed Zoro to help him to stand with a tiny frown on his face. That's it? Zoro totally didn't respond to his confession just then!

"Come on, cook," Zoro said to the dazed Sanji as he helped him forward.

"Ah, wait," Sanji objected, "The herb!"

Zoro raised an eyebrow at the cook. "Herb? What herb?"

Sanji looked around and spotted the magical herb partially hidden beneath a piece of debris that was probably a chunk from one of the broken pews. Zoro helped Sanji over to the piece of wood and removed it for the cook. Sanji leaned over and plucked the herb from the ground with a silly grin on his face. _Now I can heal Zoro's blindness._

Zoro noticed Sanji's look. "So what does that herb do? Is this why you fought against Mihawk?"

Sanji blushed, "Er, that's none of your business, Marimo." Sanji said before slipping the herb into his pants' pocket. "But yes that's why I fought Mihawk."

"Idiot." Zoro said as he helped Sanji over to retrieve his fallen shirt and jacket. "You should have just told me that you needed it. I would have come here and gotten it for you."

Sanji blinked at Zoro in surprise. "Yes, I bet you would have…moss-head." He quickly put his shirt and jacket back on. "Okay, ready, let's get the hell out of here and look for those guys."

Zoro nodded. "_Yosh_. Right."

"Roronoa!" Came Mihawk's raspy voice as he struggled to speak from his position on the floor. "Why didn't you kill me?!"

Zoro turned to look down at the fallen Mihawk who was bleeding all over the floor. "Why didn't you kill _me_ those years ago? I know what you were up to and why you chose to hurt Sanji. You were teaching me a lesson. Teaching me how to awaken my base instincts and how to control them. We're rivals, Mihawk. We'll meet again and fight again for the title of World's Greatest Swordsman, but if you ever _truly_ hurt Sanji – I'll kill you for real."

Mihawk smiled. He'd been found out. "Guilty. So are the rumors true? Are the both of you really lovers? You sure act like it."

Zoro and Sanji did not respond. Zoro helped Sanji to limp his way out of the church ruins and into the courtyard. The courtyard was scattered with the fallen bodies of Copy Monkeys.

"Whoa." Sanji said as he took in all the dead bodies and slash wounds. "Did Ren do all this?"

Zoro nodded. "Yea…where did those two go?" He wondered as he looked around for any sign of Ren and Yuki.

"Over there, look!" Sanji pointed in the direction of a trampled down hedge bush.

Zoro nodded and the duo began to track Yuki and Ren by the obvious trail Ren had left behind as he'd pursued the perverted Copy Gorilla and Yuki through the forest. Zoro snorted at the mess Ren had made. It looked like a Rhinoceros had charged through there. There were trees that had been toppled over even. "The kid's definitely not a _ninja_."

Sanji chuckled in amusement. "It looks like he was in a hurry. Think one of the monkeys tried to kidnap Yuki? He's such a cute little thing – who wouldn't want to kidnap him, you know?" Sanji said conversationally with a fond look on his face.

Zoro did a double take. "Eh? I thought you didn't like men."

"Maybe I've met the exception to that rule. Yuki's so cute and feminine – it makes me want to protect him." Sanji gushed.

Zoro felt a thrill of jealousy. "I can be cute." He muttered softly, in a voice Sanji didn't quite catch.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Zoro growled.

Sanji gave Zoro a piercing look, when-

Zoro and Sanji began to near a clearing that they could hear voices coming from.

"Ah, I hear them. They're up ahead." Sanji said.

Zoro and Sanji made their way into the clearing, however-

The sight that met them was-!?

"Ah…Ren…not so hard…" Yuki gasped as Ren bucked upwards and filled him.

"You know you like it…come on Yuki. Ride me properly. Use your hips." Ren said while digging his fingers into Yuki's hips with bruising force. "That's it. You're so fucking tight."

"Sh-Shut up! This is so embarrassing." Yuki complained as he was practically bounced up and down on top of Ren. "Can't you take the hat and bow off…?"

"No way, that's the best part. Now give me that angry pout that makes me horny, Yuki." Ren grinded himself into Yuki with more force.

"Ah…ah! Screw you! You beast!" Yuki gasped as his vision darkened slightly. If Ren wasn't careful he was going to fuck Yuki into unconsciousness - again.

"Maybe later." Ren chuckled darkly.

Sanji's jaw dropped at the sight before him and his face turned bright red. Zoro's tanned cheeks also heated up.

Ren was shirtless and lying on the ground on his back. Yuki was on top of Ren and straddling him. Yuki was completely naked expect for the mini top hat, the green silk bow around his neck and the knee-high pale green stockings.

Ren had the fingers of his hands entwined with Yuki's and was helping to support Yuki as Yuki moved above and rode him. Ren still had his pants on but they were pulled half way down his body.

Yuki and Ren were having sex! And Yuki was riding Ren!

"Tell me what you want, Yuki." Ren demanded as he grabbed Yuki's ass.

"Ah, Ren…make a mess of me…fill me with your cum…" Yuki begged.

"I love it when you talk dirty, Yuki." Ren bucked his hips up and thrust in and out of Yuki even faster. Ren was skillfully aiming for that spot inside of Yuki that he knew would make his lover see stars. When Yuki cried out and gripped Ren's hands harder he knew he'd hit the spot and smirked to himself smugly. Yuki would never leave him. He would make Yuki's body addicted to him so that he'd depend on him and never leave him. _Yuki…you're mine. Forever. _

Zoro grabbed Sanji and quickly pulled him back out of the clearing and behind a tree. For some reason Zoro and Sanji's breathing had sped up.

"Wow." Sanji said breathlessly. "They were actually having _sex_."

Zoro swallowed thickly. "Yea."

"Yuki seemed like he was enjoying that. I thought that it would be painful. But it looked like he was having fun." Sanji turned to face Zoro with an intense stare. "Zoro…?"

"Yes?"

"We should try that." Sanji said huskily before he leaned forward and captured Zoro's lips with his own.

As soon as their lips touched, a tingle went down both their spines. Zoro's eyes widened in shock. But he closed his eyes and began to kiss the cook back, slowly moving his lips against the cook's.

Sanji let out a groan at the sensation. It was completely different from when Mihawk had kissed him. Zoro kissing him was making his heart rate speed up, pleasant little tingles were running up and down his spine, and he was becoming lightheaded.

Zoro pushed Sanji up against the tree and hungrily ran his tongue over Sanji's lower lip. Sanji gasped and Zoro plunged his tongue into the cook's mouth. The cook tasted like tobacco and spices. _Yum. _

Sanji froze at the strange sensation of Zoro's tongue in his mouth, before he tentatively began to caress Zoro's tongue with his own.

Zoro groaned into Sanji's mouth. This was even more amazing than he'd imagined kissing the cook would be. Fireworks were going off in his brain as he kissed the cook and electricity seemed to be surging between them.

The entire world seemed to just fade away as they kissed one another and the kiss - it just felt so right. For a moment, time seemed to stand still – as if wanting to capture the moment.

And then time started again and Zoro regretted it. If he could stop time and live in this exact moment for all eternity he would. Zoro pushed Sanji harder into the tree and rubbed his crotch against the cook.

Sanji cried out – but pain zinged up from his broken leg and he was forced to push Zoro away from him. The both stared at each other, flushed and panting for breath.

"Zoro…we can't…my leg hurts like a bitch…" Sanji apologized.

Zoro ran a hand back through his green hair and gave the cook a sheepish look. "Sorry…uh…when you said you loved me earlier…what did you mean by that exactly?"

Sanji blinked. "Hah? What do you think I meant?"

"That you loved me like a friend or _nakama_."

"Oh. Zoro, you moss for brains – I love you…like _this_." Sanji leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss against Zoro's lips and pulled back.

Zoro's eyes widened like saucers. "Oh…Ohhh! I just didn't want to get my hopes up. I thought I was probably daydreaming. Does that mean…?" Zoro swallowed thickly and licked his lips. "You might want to…you know…make love to me cook?"

Sanji blushed, and looked askance. "Idiot marimo…once my leg is healed…I'm thinking we could try what we saw Yuki and Ren doing earlier."

"Oh."

"As long as you don't hurt me, you brute!"

"Hey!" Zoro ran his hand through Sanji's golden hair – he'd always wanted to do that. It was surprisingly soft. "You know I would _never_ hurt you."

"I know." Sanji purred. "That's why I love you." _I trust you Zoro. _

One hour later…

Zoro and Sanji had a nice make out session as they waited for Ren and Yuki to finish up. Unfortunately, Ren could keep going and going, so Zoro and Sanji had been forced to wait for them for an entire hour.

Zoro of course didn't really mind since he had the excuse to kiss the cook for an entire hour nonstop. Sanji on the other hand was slightly pissed because his lips were all chapped now.

"Ahem." Sanji cleared his throat as Zoro helped him into the clearing. By this time, Ren and Yuki had gotten redressed. Ren was still shirtless though. Yuki was self-consciously tugging at his clothes and hoping that Zoro and Sanji couldn't see the bruises and hickeys that Ren had left on his pale skin.

"Ah, Sanji-san!" Yuki exclaimed. "H-H-How long have you been here?"

Sanji smiled mischievously. "I wonder."

"You guys should be careful about having sex out in the open like that. There are a lot of perverts that would just watch you guys." Zoro warned.

Sanji jabbed Zoro in the side with his elbow. "Oh, you mean, like _you_, Marimo?"

"Hell no." Zoro shot back, dark eyes glinting. "The only man I want to see naked is you, cook."

Sanji reddened and shot a nervous look towards Ren and Yuki. "Ah…pervy marimo. We'll see about that! Hmph!"

Zoro looked put out. "Eh? But earlier you said-"

Sanji slapped a hand over Zoro's mouth to silence him and burst out with nervous laughter. "Ehehehehe…! Don't mind him. Come on, let's hurry up and get back to the Sunny. I need to have Chopper set my leg – it hurts like a bitch."

"Alright." Ren said. The swordsman had a self-satisfied, smug smile on his face.

"Ow…ow…" Yuki muttered to himself. He was still slightly sore due to Ren's earlier ministrations. The man was a beast! A hot sexy beast…and _his_ beast though.

"Come on, princess, quit your bitchin'." Ren said as he scooped Yuki up into his arms and held him bridal-style.

Yuki blushed, sputtered and objected. "R-Ren! P-P-Put me down! This is so embarrassing!"

"Would it be less embarrassing if I did this, kid?" Zoro asked as he scooped Sanji up into his arms bridal-style.

Sanji was shocked still for a moment before he began to swear like a drunken sailor. "What the fuck?! Marimo! Put me the hell down! You fucking bastard! I'm not a woman!" Sanji beat his hands against Zoro's chest. "Are you listening to me, fucktard! I said put me the fuck down!"

Zoro just ignored Sanji and strode forward, "Oh, which way is the harbor again?"

"This way." Ren said as he began to lead the way. "So…now that you guys are together does that mean we can have a foursome?" He teased.

"No way, man." Zoro shot back. "How did you get him to be so tame?" Zoro asked Ren conversationally.

An evil smile curled Ren's lips. "Training."

"REN!" Yuki objected.

"I see." Zoro said with a thoughtful tone to his voice.

"I could give you a few pointers," Ren started. "In making him more submissive."

"That would be great, thanks man." Zoro said. This of course earned him an elbow jab from Sanji right in his gut.

"Who's going to be submissive?! I can take you too, you know, Marimo!"

Zoro blushed scarlet. "You want to?"

"Eh…only if _you_ want me to." Sanji replied in a small voice.

Zoro smirked smugly. "I wouldn't mind that either, love-cook."

"Well, I can also give you different kinds of pointers." Ren started. "Like how to prepare him, what kind of lube is the best to use, and how to use bondage ropes to spice things up a bit later on."

"Ooo." Zoro said.

"No! No way! Zoro doesn't need any pointers, from a pervert like you!" Sanji burst out.

Yuki giggled. "You guys are so perfect for each other. I'm so happy that the both of you were finally able to realize this yourselves! You guys are a couple now, right?"

"Uh…" Sanji started.

Zoro nodded. "Yes, he's my boyfriend now."

"Z-Zoro!" Sanji said.

"You want to be my 'girlfriend' instead?" Zoro raised an eyebrow at the cook.

"That's NOT what I meant! Gah!" Sanji threw his arms up into the air.

OOO

The group finally reached the beach that was next to the harbor and began to pass through the trees and head towards the Sunny, however-

The hair on the back of Zoro's neck stood on end and he sensed an attack! He realized in a split second that he would have to drop Sanji in order to reach his swords – but Sanji had a broken leg and could be badly hurt if he just dropped him. So Zoro spun and put his back to the concealed attackers in the trees and hugged Sanji to his chest in a protective manner.

"Zoro!" Sanji said in concern.

A barrage of arrows came flying out of the trees and headed Zoro's way. However-

A mysterious, shadowy figure that was dressed in a long, black, hooded cloak was suddenly standing in front of Zoro and he used his sword to block and cut through the oncoming arrows with lighting speed.

"Ren!" Yuki warned when he saw a 'glint' in the nearby trees. "Shit!" Ren swore as he did what Zoro had done and simply put his back to the trees.

A smaller mysterious figure, who was also wearing a hooded cloak, appeared in front of Ren and Yuki, and used her sword to cut and block the arrows. One arrow got past her defenses, however, and an arrow imbedded itself into Ren's upper arm.

The shadowy figure turned to look at Ren in concern. "Crap! Ren!" The movement caused the young woman's hood to fall off.

Ren turned to look at his and Yuki's mysterious rescuer. He recognized the petite blonde woman with wide brown eyes easily. She was their writer friend that had gone missing two years ago while on a date with his twin brother, Akira! "Sophia? What the hell…?" Ren looked over to see that the person who had saved Zoro and Sanji was none other than his brother. Akira's hood had also fallen off his head during his fight. "Akira!"

After Akira was finished blocking the initial barrage of arrows with his sword he dropped his sword to the sandy beach and reached behind him to grab his bow. Akira brought his bow out before him and reached behind him to grab an arrow from his quiver. Akira knocked an arrow to his bow, aimed up at the trees and fired.

"Oooop!" The cry of a Copy Monkey was heard as one of the creatures fell out of a tree and landed upon the beach.

But Akira didn't stop there and began to send arrow after arrow into the treetops. He already knew where all the monkeys were hiding because he'd memorized the incoming trajectories of all the arrows in their initial attack.

Akira bent down on one knee and shot a Copy Monkey on a lower branch next.

Copy Monkeys cried out in pain as Akira's arrows met their marks and they began to fall out of the trees.

"It's the Copy Monkeys!" Yuki exclaimed in fear.

"They must be back for revenge…fuck…" Ren swore as he reached up, grasped the arrow shaft and yanked the arrow right out of his arm. Ren cringed as blood spurted out of his arm, and he tossed the arrow aside. "Sophia." Ren began in a low voice. "Your swordsmanship sucks. I got shot. Do you see Zoro and Sanji wounded?"

Sophia flushed, and gave Ren a slightly irritated but apologetic look. "Sorry sorry…I'm kind of new to all this, you know? But it's okay – I ate the Nui Nui Fruit (Sew Sew Fruit). I'm a Devil Fruit User now, so I can do this…" Sophia walked over to Ren and made a glowing blue needle materialize in her hand. She then began to sew Ren's wound up and a glowing blue thread appeared as she did so.

"Holy…" Ren murmured as he watched Sophia sew his flesh back together. "Why doesn't it hurt?"

Sophia shrugged, "I'm not really sure, but it's one of the pluses of my new ability. I can sew _anything_ back together again – even something like the leak in a ship for instance. Anything that breaks - I can fix it." A cat's paw smile formed on her face.

"Neat." Yuki exclaimed with stars in his green eyes.

Ren didn't like the way Yuki was looking at Sophia and so decided to drop him. Yuki landed on his butt and glared up at Ren. "Hey, what the hell was that for?" Yuki rubbed his sore butt.

"Shouldn't you be helping my brother?" Ren questioned as he raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

Sophia turned to see Akira running down the beach – his long black hair flying out behind him and shooting arrows up into the treetops as he ran. Akira also dodged a few arrows that the monkeys tried to send back in retaliation. A fond, knowing smile came to Sophia's lips. "My Akira can handle it." Sophia began to say before she realized what she'd just said and blushed. "I mean, Akira can handle it." She coughed into her hand.

"So this is where you and Akira disappeared to two years ago! You've been in the One Piece World all this time!" Yuki exclaimed with tears in his eyes. "We thought that maybe the two of you were dead. The speedboat you guys took out just disappeared-"

Sophia offered her hand to Yuki to help him up. He took it and Sophia helped Yuki to his feet. She squeezed his hand in a reassuring gesture. "We're sorry, Yuki. But we've been looking for a way back to you guys. We would never willingly abandon you guys. You guys are like family, and to Akira you ARE family. After everything Akira went through to find his brother – he wouldn't give Ren up that easily either."

Yuki sniffled, feeling a little bit better, "R-R-Really? Then will we all go back together?"

Sophia nodded. "If we can find the way – then yes. But…that's if you guys don't decide you want to stay here. I'm up for whatever. Life is an adventure. And I'd be happy wherever I am."

Ren ruffled Yuki's hair. "I'm going to leave it up to Yuki."

Wide-eyed Yuki turned to give Ren a surprised look. "Ren…" He paused for a moment before smiling at his lover. "I want to stay. I love it here."

"Fuck yea." Ren agreed.

Zoro, Sanji, and Akira joined the group a few moments later. Akira and Sophia removed their cloaks to reveal the pirate-themed outfits they were wearing underneath. Akira was wearing a yellow wife-beater that showed off his tanned muscular body and that had the pattern of a black rose and thorns on it. He was wearing a pair of black cargo pants and a pair of combat boots to complete his look. The yellow shirt also brought out the yellow color that he had dyed the tips of his hair and bangs with.

Sophia was wearing a low-cut, white, long-sleeved shirt with a dark blue corset, a pair of black leather pants and a pair of knee boots with cuffs. She also wore a blue sash belt around her waist, which she used to keep her sheath and sword strapped to her body.

"Put me down already, Marimo! Can't you see there's a beautiful lady present!" Sanji focused on Sophia and his eyes turned into two hearts. "Mademoiselle, I believe I have yet to make your acquaintance. My name is Blackleg Sanji and I would be honored to cook you dinner-"

Sanji had some nerve to flirt with a woman while in his arms. "Ah, screw it." Zoro said as he dropped Sanji to the beach.

"Ow…fuck!" Sanji gripped his leg, tears in his eyes. "What the hell, shitty swordsman!"

Akira smoothly walked up to Sophia and casually put his arm around her shoulders. "She's _my_ girlfriend, love-cook" Akira said simply before glancing over at Zoro. "And don't you already have a…lover?" He teased.

Sophia turned to gawk at Akira. "Wait, w-what? I am?"

Akira turned to give Sophia a hurt look. "I thought we were going out…?" He began to remove his arm.

"Ah!" Sophia grabbed Akira's arm and put it back on her shoulders. "Ah, we are…I mean, if you want to be…then sure." She blushed.

"Okay then. We're going out, babe." Akira said with a firm nod.

Ren rolled his eyes at the two. "Oh brother, you guys have been stuck here how long and you're still like _this_? Haven't you two gotten it on yet?"

In the blink of an eye the two brothers were holding swords to each other's throats.

"What did you just say, bro?" Akira asked in a low voice.

"You heard me." Ren smirked back.

The two brothers began to spar and their swords clashed. Sophia sighed. "Oh brother…boys…" She rolled her eyes.

"Uh…should we be worried about them?" Sanji asked concernedly.

Sophia shook her head. "Naw, they weren't being serious. They just needed an excuse to spar so they could see how they've both improved." Sophia turned to watch the two brothers sparing – it was an incredible sight. They were so passionate. And Akira looked really hot when he was waving that sword around. Sophia tried not to openly drool. There's just something so sexy about swordsmen. And archers. She resisted letting out a dreamy sigh.

And then-

"HIKEN!" Came a very familiar sounding yell.

"It can't be…" Ren breathed as he took his attention off his brother and turned to see Fire Fist Ace standing on the beach and sending a gigantic fireball into the front line of the trees on the beach.

The fireball hit, the trees ignited, and the monkeys began to leap out of the trees – their fur on fire! "Ooop! Oooop! Ooop!" The monkeys cried out in terror as their fur caught on fire. They high-tailed it into the forest and did not look back.

Ace wiped his hands together. "Well, that's that! And don't come back or we'll have Sanji cook you!"

"Ace!" Sanji said from his place sitting on the sand, tears sprung to his blue eyes. "You're alive!"

"Ace…" Zoro said with equal surprise. "Luffy's going to flip!"

"Hey guys!" Ace greeted happily as he approached the group. He gave Sanji a concerned look and frowned. "What happened to you Sanji?"

"It's a long story. But that's not important now. What about you?! How are you here? We thought you were dead." Sanji asked.

Ace grinned widely and jerked his thumb towards Akira and Sophia. "These guys showed up out of nowhere and saved me! They're awesome…that chick can sew things together! And Akira's mad with his sword and bow. I recruited them for the Whitebeard Pirates.

"We've been sailing after you guys – but we never seemed to be able to catch up! But finally…we're here and it looks like some of Akira's family members are here too. Dude! That guy looks just like you!" Ace pointed his finger towards Ren.

Akira chuckled. "Ace I'd like you to meet my twin brother, Ren."

Ace stuck out his hand and Ren eagerly took it. "Nice to meet you!" Ace was even more handsome when he was not animated. He was really ripped, his freckles were definitely sexy, and he loved that devil-may-care hair style of his.

Ren smiled sexily at the deadly, fire-wielding pirate. "It's my pleasure." He held Ace's hand a little longer than was probably necessary. There was a slight blush to Ace's cheeks by the time he let go. And Ren caught Ace eyeing his muscular chest. He smiled smugly to himself. If it wasn't for Yuki…he'd totally tap that.

Yuki hit Ren's arm as if reading his thoughts. "Hey…" Yuki pouted.

Akira cleared his throat. "And that's my brother's lover – Yuki." He shook his head at his brother's flirtatious antics. He knew this was going to happen when he met Ace.

Ace's eyes went to Yuki and he smiled. "Oh, she's cute."

Yuki blushed to the roots of his hair. Portgus D. Ace had just called _him_ cute. Maybe being 'cute' wasn't so bad after all. A goofy smile formed on Yuki's face. "Uh…h-h-h-hi." Yuki stammered as he tried to greet the handsome fire wielder.

"Hey!" Ren objected when he saw Yuki's expression. "You always hate it when _I_ call you cute!"

Yuki gave Ren a look. "Yea, but that's Ace. _Ace_!" Yuki felt like he was going to melt into a puddle of pink goo.

"I like these guys." Ace declared. "I should have them join the Whitebeard Pirates!"

"Sorry Ace but those guys are with us!" Came a voice.

Ace turned to see Luffy and the rest of the Strawhat Pirates walking down the beach. "LUFFY!"

"ACE!" Luffy couldn't contain himself any longer and the two brothers ran towards each other with open arms and knocked into each other so hard that they fell down onto the beach in a tangle of limbs.

There were tears in Luffy's eyes. "Ace! I thought you were dead!"

"Me too! But these guys saved me! They came from another world – and that chick-"

"Sophia." Sophia spoke up.

"Yea, Sophia ate a Devil's Fruit the first chance she got and-" Ace continued.

"I was _hungry_!" Sophia said defensively as she blushed.

"She gained the ability to sew shit-"

"Anything." Sophia interjected.

"Together and she stitched me back together again!" Ace said excitedly, "I thought I was a goner for sure but…yea, they saved me. And I recruited them for the Whitebeard Pirates and Akira is a badass swordsman and he's good with a bow too!"

"Ren is a really good swordsman and he wields two swords," Luffy bragged. "And Yuki has the power to distract any man or woman with his cuteness. We like to call it his 'Cutie Attack'."

"Since when?" Nami raised an eyebrow at her Captain.

"Shishishi." Luffy just laughed and stretched his arms out, grabbed Yuki and deposited Yuki in front of Sanji. "Watch this. It works on anyone." Luffy suddenly lifted Yuki up off the sand and held him upside down.

"Ahhh…Luffy…p-p-p-please put me down…" Yuki pleaded with tears beginning to form in his wide green eyes.

_So cute!_ "I'm coming!" Sanji somehow managed to stand and grabbed Yuki from Luffy's clutches. "Are you alright, Yuki?"

Yuki looked up dazedly and realized he'd somehow ended up in Sanji's arms. "Er…yea…thank you."

"Hey!" Zoro interjected as he grabbed Yuki out of Sanji's arms. "What do you think you're doing? Seducing the cook!"

"Huh?" Yuki blinked back at Zoro fearfully. "I-I-I wasn't! I swear…"

Ren hit Zoro in the back of his head with the hilt of his sword and Zoro swore as he let go of Yuki. Ren caught Yuki and held him protectively. "Hands off what doesn't belong to you."

"Cutie Attack." Nami nodded in agreement. "It's fearsome indeed."

"Um…why is Luffy acting like we're already a part of their crew?" Yuki asked.

Ren was smiling. "Maybe because somewhere along the way the Strawhats accepted us as their _nakama_. Well, I know _I'm_ awesome."

Yuki rolled his eyes but smiled affectionately at Ren. "Yes, you are. I'm lucky to have you by my side."

Ren blushed slightly in response to Yuki's sincerity. _You know, Yuki. I'm the one that's really lucky to have you. _He'd never say that aloud though.

TBC…

Epilog:

Luffy, Nami, Franky, Robin, Ussop, Chopper, Sanji, Zoro, Yuki, Ren, Akira, Sophia and Ace all headed back to the Thousand Sunny. As soon as they got onboard Chopper had Zoro carry Sanji to the infirmary where he set Sanji's leg and put it into a cast. Chopper then had Ussop make Sanji a pair of crutches since he knew that the chef would want to cook everyone dinner.

As always, after an adventure the Strawhats would have a huge dinner party to celebrate whatever village they'd managed to save and whatever villain they'd managed to defeat. This time around they were celebrating Zoro's defeat of Dracul Mihawk.

"I'm going to make a feast to celebrate Zoro's defeat of Mihawk!" Sanji announced while using his crutches to stand. "Zoro is now the Greatest Swordsman in the World!"

"Yea!" "Super, bro!" "Well done, Swordsman-san." "Awesome, bro." The Strawhats all cheered and congratulated Zoro.

"Uh, Sanji…you should really get some extra help if you plan to cook in your condition." Chopper advised.

Sanji gave Chopper a warm look and nodded. "Alright Chopper." He looked around and spotted Yuki and Sophia chatting to one another. "Yuki. Sophia. If you could help me out in the kitchen it would be greatly appreciated." Sanji said.

"S-S-Sure Sanji, I'd be happy to help you." Yuki beamed at Sanji.

"Er, I'd be happy to help you but…I'm not that good at baking." Sophia warned. "It requires too much patience. I like to cook 20-minute meals and cook things were I can add ingredients with a 'Bam!'. You know?"

The young men laughed. Sophia looked very feminine but kind of acted like a tomboy.

"Don't worry, I'll find something you can help me with, mademoiselle." Sanji assured her.

Sophia blushed at the handsome cook. "Er…okay."

Sanji, Yuki and Sophia headed to the galley and began to help Sanji prepare a feast. Yuki and Sophia decided to teach Sanji how to make good 'ol hamburgers and French Fries! Sophia and Yuki helped out by peeling the potatoes and Sophia began to cut the potatoes into long, rectangular pieces with her _katana_ until Sanji saw what she was doing and freaked out.

"Ah! Sophia-san what the hell, er, what are you doing? You can't use your sword to cook! Here use this knife instead." Sanji took the _katana_ that Akira had given her out of her hand and handed her a kitchen knife instead.

Sophia pouted. "Oh, okay." She started to cut the raw potatoes a bit more slowly. She felt a bit lost without the sword Akira had given her and taught her how to use in this strange, new world.

Yuki was tearing pieces of lettuce into small pieces that everyone would be able to put on their hamburgers and was slicing tomatoes.

Meanwhile, Sanji was making patties out of ground beef, which he began to cook using an oiled frying pan. Yuki made teddy bear shaped burgers.

"We have to make sure we have all of the toppings available so that everyone can customize their hamburgers." Yuki explained.

"Oh? Like what?" Sanji asked curiously.

Yuki tapped his chin in thought. "Well…my Ren likes his hamburger with pickles, ketchup, and mustard. He also likes his meat still mooing…so cook his rare. Akira likes mayo, horseradish, mushrooms, and Swiss cheese. He also likes his burger to be medium rare. I like my burger with ranch, lettuce and mushrooms. I also like my burger to be cooked well-done." Yuki turned to give Sophia a curious look. "How do you like your burger Sophia?"

Sophia blinked. "Oh, well…usually cooked well-done, but not burned, you know? And…with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and cheddar cheese. Oh and ketchup."

Sanji nodded. "I see…just leave it to me! I know how everyone else likes their meat cooked so this shouldn't be that different."

The three cooks made hamburgers and all of the toppings, with Sanji's help it only took thirty minutes until the hamburgers were ready to be served. They had all the toppings anyone could possibly think of: different types of sliced cheese, onions, lettuce, relish, hot sauce, Barbeque sauce, Tabasco sauce, soy sauce, caramelized onions, mushrooms and more.

"Oh beautiful flowers! You dinner awaits!" Sanji called out to the female crewmembers in a singsong voice, and then in a deeper voice: "HEY SHITTY BASTARDS! DINNER'S READY!"

The entire crew poured into the galley and took a seat at the long rectangular dinning table. Sanji insisted that Yuki and Sophia take a seat too while he went around and set plates with plain hamburgers, buns, and French Fries on everyone's plates. Sophia took a seat across from Akira at the table while Yuki tried to take a seat next to Ren but-

Ren pulled Yuki into his lap. "You're too small to need a chair all to yourself, love. My lap is more than enough for you." Red declared.

"_Ren_." Yuki whined, blushed and looked embarrassed. He knew that it would be impossible for Ren to keep his perverted hands to himself during dinner. This was going to be pure torture.

Sanji wiped his hands off once he was finished serving everyone a hamburger. "Well, that's that. The bowls on the table are filled with different toppings so - everyone help yourselves!" Sanji grinned.

Zoro noticed what Ren had done to Yuki and as Sanji was passing him by he grabbed Sanji by his wrist and pulled him into his lap. "W-What are doing, shitty swordsman?!" Sanji squawked.

"Eat with me." Zoro rumbled in a deep voice.

Sanji reddened and tried to stand back up. "You're crazy!"

Zoro pulled him back down into his lap and whispered in Sanji's ear. "Please?"

Sanji snorted but remained seated in Zoro's lap. This was such a bad idea.

Everyone began to dig in, selected different toppings and customized their hamburgers. Zoro surreptitiously looked over at Ren to see what he was doing with Yuki.

Ren squirted some ranch onto his plate before picking up a French fry and dipping it into the ranch. Ren then held up the French fry in front of Yuki's mouth and commanded. "Open up."

Yuki obediently opened his mouth and Ren shoved the fry into Yuki's mouth. Yuki chewed and swallowed. "Open up." Ren said again. Yuki opened his mouth and Ren stuck his salty finger in Yuki's mouth. "Lick them clean." Yuki complied and with flushed cheeks began to lick and suck Ren's fingers clean.

"Holy shit." Zoro muttered to himself at the sight. _I am so trying that!_ Zoro quickly picked up a French fry, dipped it in the ketchup, and held it out in front of the cook. "Oi, cook. Eat?"

"Hah?" Sanji questioned and opened his mouth, giving Zoro the opportunity to stick the French fry into Sanji's mouth.

Sanji glared at Zoro as he was forced to chew and swallow the French fry. "Oi! What the hell?! Shitty swordsman?!" Sanji complained and without any warning Zoro stuck his fingers in Sanji's mouth! "Mmph!"

BITE.

Sanji bit down on Zoro's fingers in response.

"Ow!" Zoro burst out as he pulled his bleeding finger out of Sanji's mouth. "The hell cook?!"

Ren burst out laughing in amusement. "Ahahaha! You still have a long way to go my padawan. But the way of the pervert force is strong with that one." He nodded approvingly at Zoro's antics.

Sanji narrowed his eyes at Zoro. "I should be asking you the same thing, Zoro! What the hell was that?" He demanded.

Zoro pouted as he sucked on his bleeding finger. "It was supposed to be sexy, cook."

"Sexy?" Sanji raised an eyebrow at Zoro.

Zoro shrugged. "You know, like _them_." He reiterated as he nodded in Yuki and Ren's direction.

"Hah?" Sanji said before turning his attention to Yuki and Ren.

Ren still had his fingers in Yuki's mouth and had added a second finger. Ren shoved his fingers deep in Yuki's throat. Yuki's cheeks were flushed, and his eyes glazed with lust.

Sanji gulped, suddenly feeling warm. "Oh." He turned to look at Zoro who was sucking on his finger absentmindedly. He saw the innocent action in a whole new light now. Zoro took his finger out of his mouth and stared down at it forlornly. Sanji grabbed his hand and brought his finger towards his mouth. Zoro looked at Sanji with a bewildered look.

"I'm going to cure your cut." Sanji said matter-of-factly. "Since it was my fault." Sanji brought Zoro's thick, tan finger to his mouth, blushed and hesitated. He tentatively parted his mouth and took the tip of Zoro's finger into his mouth.

Zoro's jaw dropped. The sensation of his finger in Sanji's mouth went straight to his cock.

Sanji opened his mouth more to let more of Zoro's finger inside of his mouth. His heart was beating a mile a minute. Zoro pushed his finger deeper into Sanji's mouth and the cook sucked on Zoro's finger.

The Strawhats were all watching Ren and Yuki, and Zoro and Sanji with a mixture of shocked and amused looks on their faces, their hamburgers temporarily forgotten. Only Luffy didn't really seem to be affected by what the two couples were doing and was tossing hamburgers into his mouth one after the other.

Yuki noticed what Luffy was doing and his eye twitched. He pushed Ren off of him for a moment so he could speak. "Lu-Lu-Luffy…don't do that. Y-You need to taste your food." At this point Yuki was as red as a tomato.

"O-Okay Y-Yuki." Luffy managed to get out with a mouth full of burgers.

Sophia giggled to herself as she watched the boys' antics. _Boys._ She shook her head ruefully. She looked at Akira who was sitting at the table across from her beneath her lashes and decided to tease him a little. She slipped her feet out of her knee boots and brought her foot up to begin to touch Akira's shin with her foot…

Akira stilled and looked around the table wide-eyed. Someone was playing footsie with him under the table! He looked around and then looked at Sophia questioningly before noticing her 'innocent' expression. Sophia was an open book though and Akira smiled smugly to himself when he realized that Sophia was playing footsie with him. He was _so_ the man.

Sophia ran her foot higher up Akira's leg teasingly and he shuddered. Akira nervously took a bite out of his hamburger and left behind a little mayo on the corner of his mouth.

Sophia leaned over the table, giving Akira a nice view down her shirt, before she licked the mayo off of the corner of Akira's mouth and then sat back down in her chair. Akira flushed. "S-Sophia?"

Sophia shrugged. "You had mayo on you, Akira-_kun_."

"Shit." This dinner was bad for Akira's health! He looked over and suddenly noticed his brother's antics with Yuki and realized what the hell was going on. His brother Ren was a bad influence on _everyone_. He had a way of putting dirty, forbidden ideas into people's heads.

Sophia boldly placed her foot on Akira's crotch and began to stroke him through his pants.

"Ahh…!" Akira abruptly stood up from his chair, flushed, embarrassed and half-hard. "Shit…" Akira stomped out of the galley.

Sophia giggled amusedly before the smile fell from her face and she pouted. She'd done it again. Why was she always 'mean' to the guys she liked, or rather she liked to tease them. Akira didn't deserve that though. _Akira…_

OOO

At this point, Yuki was a hot and bothered mess. Ren stood up and plopped Yuki down into his seat before leaning over and whispering in Yuki's ear: "Meet me in the crow's nest in twenty minutes." As Ren's hot breath wafted over Yuki's ear, he shivered.

Ren sauntered off, sly smile on his face.

Yuki fidgeted throughout the rest of the meal before he figured twenty minutes had passed. He stood up and was about to excuse himself when-

"Ah, Yuki, wait!" Sanji started as he scrambled out of Zoro's lap. He made his way over to the kitchen island and picked up a small box. He carried the box over to Yuki. "Here." He handed Yuki the box. "It's Ren's birthday today, isn't it?"

Yuki gave Sanji a surprised look. "Yea, it is. How'd you know?"

"I had to help Ren with a little surprise for you. It's his birthday but…he told me that you never do anything for yourself so he wanted to do something special for you too. But…I knew you'd like to have your own present for him and so I prepared this especially for you." Sanji smiled warmly at the cute young man.

Yuki held the box carefully. "Wow…thank you, Sanji."

Sanji waved his hand dismissively through the air. "It's nothing." He leaned forward to whisper in Yuki's ear. "I owe you two a lot." He looked over at Zoro who was pouting at the loss of Sanji in his lap. "I was too blind to see what was standing right next to me all this time. Thank you."

Yuki blushed. "N-N-No problem, Sanji-san. And Sanji-san…"

"Yes?"

"If you ever want me to help you…with you know…becoming Zoro's submissive angel…I can give you some…pointers." Yuki blushed pink.

Sanji's jaw dropped. "Ehhhh? Er…I don't think…" He looked at Yuki's puppy dog expression. Oh my God, it was the Cutie Attack. He scratched his head. "I'll think about it Yuki."

Yuki grinned. _Mission accomplished. _

OOO

Yuki made his way to the crow's nest. He fearfully climbed the ladder, opened the hatch and entered. The crow's nest was pitch-black. Yuki squinted into the darkness. "Ren?"

"Light the lamp." Ren instructed.

"O-Okay." Yuki set the box down, found the lamp Ren was talking about and lit it. He raised the lamp and the crow's nest was filled with a dim, golden glow-

He gasped at the sight before him-

Ren was lying naked on a blanket and was completely covered in a least a hundred pieces of sushi.

"R-R-Ren?" Yuki questioned as he approached Ren and knelt down besides him. "Sushi? Aren't you allergic to fish?"

Ren pointed to his mouth where a piece of sushi was sitting.

Yuki set down the oil lamp. He had a pretty good idea what his perverted lover had in mind. Yuki shyly leaned over and took a piece of sushi in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed. Now that Ren's mouth was free he was able to ask what the hell was going on. "R-Ren what is this?"

"What does it look like? And it's all vegetarian sushi. Now, shut up and kiss me." Ren ordered.

Yuki complied - he leaned over and pressed his lips eagerly to Ren's. Ren's lips tasted salty because of the sushi. Ren plunged his tongue into Yuki's mouth and tasted the sushi on his lover's tongue and groaned. Yuki pulled back a few minutes later, short of breath.

"Want to kiss my body?" Ren asked in a deep, husky voice.

Yuki nodded.

"To do that you have to eat a piece of sushi first and reveal the part of my body you want to kiss. Get it?"

Yuki nodded and his eyes roamed Ren's tanned, muscular, naked body covered in sushi. He gulped and spotted a cucumber, avocado, and rice roll that was wrapped in seaweed sitting on one of Ren's nipples and went for it. Yuki ate the piece of sushi before he began to lick and tease Ren's nipple.

"Good boy…but can't you go for a piece of sushi that's a little lower?"

"Perv…" Yuki chided as he went for the piece of sushi on Ren's other nipple instead. This piece of sushi had been made with pickled vegetables and egg.

"Tease."

Yuki smiled devilishly. It wasn't often (maybe never) that he was able to have the upper hand like this, so he planned to enjoy every second of it. It wasn't long before Ren's chest was heaving and his blue-green eyes were glazed with desire. "Yuki…" Ren warned.

Yuki gulped, and new things were going to heat up pretty fast, but then he remembered Sanji's present. "Ah! Wait! Hang on a second!" Yuki rushed over to grab the box before carrying it back over to Ren's side. Yuki knelt down next to Ren and opened the box. "I have a present for you, Ren. A birthday present…"

"Oh?"

Yuki opened the box and peered inside, inside the box was a single piece of sushi made of rice, Shiitake mushroom (which had been marinated, cooked and then allowed to cool before Sanji had added it to the sushi), and a glowing green herb. Yuki gasped as he realized what it was. "The magical herb…oh Sanji…thank you…"

"What is it?"

Yuki pulled out the glowing piece of sushi and showed it to Ren. "This."

Ren gave it a skeptical look. "You want to feed me radioactive sushi?"

"It's _magical_, silly." Yuki said before he held it out to Ren's mouth. "Eat it."

"Give it to me with your mouth."

Yuki rolled his eyes at his demanding lover. "Perv." Yuki put the sushi into his mouth before leaning over and offering Ren the piece of sushi.

Ren took it into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. Immediately, the eye that had the slight blindness to it began to glow and in moments it was cured. Ren looked up at Yuki wide-eyed. "What the hell was that?"

"A magical herb that can cure blindness. This is what Sanji challenged Mihawk for. I wanted to try and get it for you but…well, Sanji decided to share it with me. He's so nice. Happy Birthday Ren. I love you." There was a slightly goofy, shy and loving smile on Yuki's face.

Ren looked up at Yuki with a warm expression in his eyes. "I love you too, princess."

Yuki leaned over and kissed Ren again.

Ren grabbed Yuki and pulled Yuki on top of him. "Ah, but Ren, what about the sushi?"

"Fuck the sushi. I can't wait to have you any longer." Ren growled as he captured Yuki's lips again.

OOO

Sophia left the galley in search of Akira. She made her way out on deck and found Akira at the stern of the Thousand Sunny. He had a contemplative look on his face as he looked out at the moonlit ocean waves. His silhouette was very handsome, but lonely somehow.

"Hey." Sophia greeted as she came to stand next to Akira.

"Hey." He greeted without looking at her.

"I'm sorry I teased you…I have the tendency to do that you know? Tease the guy I like." Sophia sighed and put her hands on the railing as she looked out at the moon's reflection on the ocean. "Back in high school I was secretly in love with this guy…I threw water balloons at him, at Christmas I put a lump of coal in his school mail box, I even stole his yellow and blue polar fleece jacket that I thought he looked so hot in although I returned it later on…."

Akira turned to give Sophia a look of disbelief. "You _liked_ this guy, right?"

Sophia nodded with a sad look on her face.

"Did he ever find out?"

Sophia shook her head. "No…I'm bad at expressing my feelings."

"So…you teasing me means I should be flattered?"

Sophia nodded.

A smirk curled Akira's lips. "Hey Sophia."

Sophia turned to face Akira. "Yea-"

Akira leaned over and pressed his lips to Sophia's, her eyes widened in surprise! But before she could respond to his kiss, Akira pulled away and looked at the moon. "I like to tease too."

Sophia grinned and raised a hand to her still tingling lips.

OOO

"Zoro." Sanji said as he passed another plate Zoro's way.

Zoro took it and began to dry the plate.

"Zoro."

Zoro took another plate and dried it.

"Zoro."

"Cook…you don't have to keep saying that."

Sanji turned to smirk at Zoro. "I know. I just like saying your name."

Zoro blushed. "Oh."

"Last one…Zoro."

Zoro took the plate and dried it. Sanji dried his hands on a towel and went over to the kitchen island to pick up a small bento box. He carried the black, lacquered box over to Zoro. "Here, shitty swordsman."

Zoro took the box and looked down at it curiously. "What's this?"

Sanji took out a cig, lit it up, and took a drag. "Just open it, moss-head."

Zoro shrugged and opened the box to reveal three onigiri made with a green herb. They were glowing softly with a green-tinged light. Zoro narrowed his eyes down at the onigiri. "Poison…?"

Sanji heard him and kicked Zoro in the arm. "No dumbass! It's a magical herb!" Sanji thanked Chopper silently in his head. The doctor had set his leg and put it in a cast, and he was able to stand on his own again. With his superior healing he'd be back to normal within a week.

Zoro shot Sanji a surprised look. "Wait, you mean the magical herb you fought Mihawk for? What's it do?"

"Eat it and find out."

Zoro shrugged and plopped the onigiri into his mouth, chewed and swallowed.

"That could have been poison, Marimo." Sanji teased.

"I trust you, cook." Zoro said as his scarred eye began to glow with a green-tinged light. "What the…?" Zoro opened up his left eye. "Fuck…I can see in both eyes again!"

Sanji grinned. "Yes! It worked!"

Zoro gave Sanji an astounded look. "The herb…you did this for me? You fought Mihawk…for me?"

"Yea, well, I-"

Zoro slammed Sanji against the kitchen island and kissed him fiercely. Sanji wrapped his arms around Zoro's neck and eagerly kissed him back. Zoro's hands began to wander over the cook's rock hard body.

"Sanji…"

"Yea?"

"I love you." Zoro said in a low voice.

Sanji sucked in a breath. Zoro gave the cook a searching look. "Cook?"

"I…do too…moss-head…"

"Good enough. For now." Zoro said as he captured the cook's lips once more. _I'll have to thank those guys for their tactless tactics…they worked. _

Sanji moaned as Zoro slipped his tongue into his mouth. _I'll have to thank those guys for their tactless tactics…they worked. _

THE END


End file.
